I just want to make one thing clear.
(Only ONE!?)
Don't start with me.
In case you may be thinking that I am in front of the computer every minute of the day because I may make a comment on your diary SECONDS after it has been posted........
I have my Outlook set up to play a sound clip when I get email. And I have it turned up pretty loud so I can hear it from almost everywhere in the house. So when I hear Creed singing, "Hello my friend we meet again, it's been a while, where shall we begin?" Accompanied by their satisfyingly loud guitar background, I know I have mail. So I stop what I am doing and come in here and read diaries or other emails.
Although sometimes, well, too often, the email is the precious and oh so welcome spam message telling me that I can become a freak of nature when it comes to the size of my male appendage. Some of them are downright insane.
This morning I briefly looked at one of these ads while I was deleting it... and to vent my frustration with the whole subject, I walked around getting ready for yoga class making up spam ads for enormous male appendages, while waving my hands around in the air.
"Get such a BIG male appendage that all women will refuse to have sex with you!" Contact us Today!
"Walk around with such a large male appendage that even horses will run from you in fear!" We take VISA and MASTER CARD.
"Amaze your friends, become a human coat rack!"
"Get a bigger male appendage and drive female whales WILD!"
Just send us your credit card number, social security number, mother's maiden name, home address, phone number, driver's licence number, and names of all your minor children, and their email addresses...... (we already HAVE yours!)
Somebody please find these people and cut off their....
Ahem...... internet access. I'm beggin' ya.
( Hey, that was more than one thing there Cupcake.)
Don't get on my nerves, I am very.....fragile right now!