Goooodmorning Baghdad ! | DearDiary.Net

I am about to get politically incorrect, so if you are not in the mood for it, I'd head for the door. Just thought I would let you know up front.

I came to a profound conclusion the other night, in a very odd way.

I was driving over to Hub Man's work site at 10:00 PM to pick him up, as he had driven a bus up from Megalopolis that day.

It was a nice evening, and I fumbled around with the radio to find something pleasant to listen to, because during most of the day, I had been watching the hostage situation in Saudi Arabia and was filled with dread and foreboding about what else these miserable excuses for human beings might dream up to do to innocent people.

I finally found an oldies station that was playing "Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polkadot Bikini". Now this song has to make you smile. So I was singing along at the top of my lungs with the windows down on a warm night in America.

Then a song came on I haven't heard in a LONG time. I tried to find a link for you to go listen to it, but finally gave it up in disgust. But I DID find the lyrics to "I Love Onions"

Here they are:

I Love Onions

I don't like snails or toads or frogs
Or strange things living under logs
But mmm, I love onions!

I don't like to dance with Crazy Ted
He's always jumping on my head
But mmm, I love onions!

Onions, onions, la-la-la!
Onions, onions, ha-ha-ha!
Root doot doot-doot, doot doot doot!

I don't like rain or snow or hail
Or Moby Dick the Great White Whale
But mmm, I love onions!

I don't like shoes that pinch your toes
Or people who squirt you with a garden hose
But mmm, I love onions!

Onions, onions, la-la-la!
Onions, onions, ha-ha-ha!
Root doot doot-doot, doot doot doot!

Onion is a tuberous vegetable, and is a member of the genus Stinkus
Delicioso. It was highly prized by the ancient Egyptian pharaohs and their
friends. It causes watering of the eyes and rubifaction of the skin
but it is very, very tasty.

Onions, onions, la-la-la!
Onions, onions, ha-ha-ha!
Root doot doot-doot, doot doot doot!

How vewy, vewy gwood.
* * *

Now for those of you who haven't heard the song, it is accompanied throughout with a kazoo, which makes it even goofier to listen to.

I think it's hilarious. And as I was singing along and laughing, I suddenly had the wild notion that I would love to print an Arabic translation of these words and drop them from helicopters in downtown Falujah and then play the song on the radio 4 times an hour for about a week.

This song is an example of American culture too. Not just Baywatch. And I finally think I know why we are the greatest nation in the world.... (Yes Virginia, I think we are, and I am not apologizing for it either) .... we know how to laugh.

We know how to make fun of things. We know what the word "absurd" means. We make fun of ourselves, and often. We know the world is a serious place and there are serious things in it, but dang, there's also some GREAT opportunity for comedy every single day. I think I'm silly, and I think you are silly. I think Hollywood is silly, and so is politics. I take my religion seriously, and God too. But let me tell you, I make jokes about it all the time, and I know God has a sense of humor, just take a good look at Horny Toad. I mean come on.... who was He kidding? ..... US, that's who. Incongruity.
The world is LOADED with it. And that's the seed of humor.

Anyway, I digress.

My point is, that it seems to me that Islamists have lost their sense of humor somewhere along the line. I don't know where, I don't know when, I'm not even sure they ever had one. But I think this is at the root of what's wrong with terrorists.
They take themselves so seriously, that NOTHING is funny. I mean not one thing.
Just spend a minute thinking about what your world would be like if you couldn't make fun of yourself, or your boss,or Horny Toads, or the design of the new city hall building that looks like a ladies upside down hat, or your Rabbi's spoonerisms, or your Uncle Bob's big ears? You might lose your mind.

And I think that is what has happened.

Can you name me ONE native Islamic stand up comedian?

Just one?

Hey, maybe I'm wrong. But I think Weird Al should make a whirlwind tour in Iraq.
Do parodies of Iraqi society. Make a joke. Get the ball rolling.

Anyway.... it's just my theory. And everyone knows I'm in ducktherapy, so you can dismiss me as a crank if you want to. Go ahead, make fun of me......

Please.

8 Comments

From:
InStitches (Legacy)
On:
Tue Jun 01 2004
Right on! I'm so busy cheering and laughing I can't think of anyway to make fun of you....yet. I'll work on it later. :) :) :)

RYC: I am drinking Numi's Morning Rise Breakfast Blend. A very mellow blend of black teas.
From:
Allimom (Legacy)
On:
Tue Jun 01 2004
Avocados, the Ostrich and Skunk Weed were what convinced me that God has a sense of humor.

Alli
From:
RealmOfRachel (Legacy)
On:
Tue Jun 01 2004
Thanks Yetz for the edit suggestions they were really helpful sorry if I didn't get back to you about it, I could have sworn I had. I'm so scattered lately it's quite frightening.

Many Thanks again your suggestions were wonderful
Love
Rach xxxxx
From:
Zarathustra (Legacy)
On:
Tue Jun 01 2004
"Can you name me ONE native Islamic stand up comedian?"

It's no good time for entertainment for a culture having to resist constant attack from nations who have unilaterally decided to call them 'rogue states' and declare war on their alleged weapons of mass destruction. And the war not on their governmnents -- but their civilians.

Just because these noble, flag-waving nations decided for themselves that they do not like women wearing tents, men wearing black beards and a culture that dates back to the time of Greek adventurers, as opposed to just a few centuries ago.

This is strictly my opinion and is not directed against you personally -- but it would be highly appreciated if you could possibly respect cultures other that your own.

Come to Europe, and you'll understand why we laugh so much we when we see comments like the one I quoted above.

za
From:
Salamander (Legacy)
On:
Tue Jun 01 2004
I Love Onions! Damn, but doesn't that just bring back memories of much younger days, when Dr. Demento ruled my Saturday nights.

And no, I can't name any Islamic stand-up comics. I can't name any Buddhst ones either. Jews seem to be overrepresented in the comic section, but then again when you're God's Chosen you'd better have a sense of humor. I've heard a Catholic comedian, but he wasn't very funny.

And no, I can't name an Iraqui comedian. I can't name a Russian one either. In fact I'm coming up short on any nationality that isn't English speaking.

Humor is universal. We can accuse the Nation of Islam of having lost its sense of humor, but I look to my own leaders and don't see many people laughing there either. I think perhaps it is our leaders, the whole kit and kaboodle of them, who have forgotten the words to the Onion Song. I'm willing to be the people of Islam have a great song about dates they could teach us.
From:
Ichandra (Legacy)
On:
Wed Jun 02 2004
on one level i can see your point about terrorists we have to agree that the terrorists mind is rigid and his ideals and aims are all consuming and if the terrorist had learned to relax to have a more flexible mind along the way then he might not be a terrorist and laughter is a way to relaxation but then there is the circular argument what conditions led to this rigidity of mind and once the war machinery starts to roll and things are going at breakneck speed then what do you say tickle tickle the bombs are coming but i see your point in part and you probably see your point in part also
From:
KiwiKimi (Legacy)
On:
Wed Jun 02 2004
Humour, with or without the "u", is indeed a precious thing. My own favourite "why I know God has a sense of humour" piece of evidence is... well, sex. Who could look at that activity and say that the Creator doesn't have a sense of humour?

We are most certainly not the greatest nation on Earth, but believe it or not we actually laugh a lot down here at the bottom of the world. Most of all at ourselves :-)
From:
Bookworm (Legacy)
On:
Wed Jun 02 2004
There's a lot in what you've got to say here. I believe God has a sense of humour, too. He made us!!! ;-)

D'vorahDavida
Yetzirah

Goooodmorning Baghdad !
Wed Jun 02 2004

D'vorahDavida Yetzirah

Goooodmorning Baghdad !Wed Jun 02 2004

D'vorahDavida
Yetzirah

Goooodmorning Baghdad !
Wed Jun 02 2004