D'vorahDavida
Yetzirah

What The???
Tue Nov 01 2005


Wow.

That was weird.

What happened?

Did someone punch the Improbability Drive on The Heart Of Gold? Where's Zaphod? We haven't lost him again have we?


I've been away. Don't ask me where. I couldn't tell you. I'm back now.

How do you like my new digs?

I'm trying it on for size. I'm not committed to it just yet however. I have another scheme in mind, but OH the time required to change it! Sets my knees to smiting one another to coin a King James phrase.

Today is my third anniversary here at DearDiary. Three years ago if you had told me I would be writing this entry, I would have tweaked your nose and had a good laugh at you, you silly old thing.

I started writing because I had amassed a small backlog of essays I had written while working my way through the book "Discovering The Writer Within" by Ballenger and Lane.

I had been reading about blogs in the newspapers and magazines and wanted to give it a go myself. At the time I was quite intimidated by the whole thing because the majority of blogs that I ran across were political commentary sites with astute high level writing, with many links to articles gathered from the web. If that was real blogging, I was going to be a miserable failure.

CRAP!

This sounds like a flippin' newspaper article. And a not very good one at that.

What do I really want to say?

[Long pause for serious reflection]


What I WANT to do is whine like a well practiced three year old about how messed up I am lately.

My body is on a hormone suicide mission. Just last week I had a little test called "endometrium scavenger hunt" that involved scrapage and massive doses of ibuprofen. I'm getting pretty fed up with problems in places I can't even SEE, but sure can FEEL.

I asked the nurse practitioner the age of her oldest patient still having a period. "Fifty five." she said, smooth as butter.

I will be fifty five in January. I feel like a freak of nature. Sort of Frankensteinesque. And we all know how he ended up.

As a side effect of all this nonsense, I am having a real hard time focusing on writing anything but stream of consciousness gibberish, quite similar to what you are suffering through right now as a matter of fact!

AND because writing has become my own personal gold standard for highly charged psychological labels like, "normal", "healthy", "content", "productive", and "SANE", you see how I might be a little freaked out over here.

Over the years I have engaged in many creative hobbies, (I had a whole list of them, but I won't bore you with recording it here) but as other things came and went, writing was always the one constant, the one thing that I was always engaging in one way or another. So listen, when my life started getting so out of balance that I found it difficult to WRITE for gosh sakes.... Well, let me tell you, there has been no small amount of wig out time lately.

I cannot say that I'm in any better place with it than before my "vacation from blogging". But I promised to return, and return I have. I have no idea what the quality of work will be around here, but I'll do my best to show up.

I must warn you however. Somewhere in my thirty days, I have managed to pick up a quite unwanted panel of judges. ( A train wreck always attracts morbid onlookers) A small gaggle of stuffy old school English types who have been looking over my shoulder these last many days. I got tired of calling them One, Two and Three, so have given them names.

The testy triumvirate consists of Basil, Nigel, and Cedric. Otherwise known as the Mid-Life Tribunal. Annoying does not begin to describe them. They wish to make a statement. . .I will spare you the 14 page document they submitted for publication and just skip to the end.

"In summary, the only definitive thing we can say about this entry is: 'Yetzirah showed up.' "

(Me, I'm going on vacation. You don't even want to KNOW what I have been through these past 30 days. Keep her amused for me will you, I gotta get out of here.)

Pssshhht, I wish I could go on vacation too. . .

Er....

Oh wait. I already did that didn't I?

Oy vey.




7 Comments
  • From:
    Bookworm (Legacy)
    On:
    Tue Nov 01 2005
    Love the new look, has a very calming feel to it. Don't worry about all those inner critics. You know we love reading you because we love who you are. Welcome back. ;-)
  • From:
    Sezrah (Legacy)
    On:
    Wed Nov 02 2005
    welcome back yetzirah :)
    you are always a delight to read, even when you're lamenting over the fact you have nothing to write about. the mark of a truly clever writer, i'd wager, to make even the supposed mundane fascinating

    sez
  • From:
    ImNotLisa (Legacy)
    On:
    Wed Nov 02 2005
    The digs are beautiful! Very nice!

    While I get the writing concerns, I must tell you that all the time I wish I could express myself as well as you. Stream of consciousness or not. You never have a bad writing day as far as I'm concerned.
  • From:
    CaraSusanetta (Legacy)
    On:
    Wed Nov 02 2005
    Yeah, what she said! (all of them). Welcome back. I like your blathering. Friends do let friends write drunk, impaired, schizoid or otherwise distracted. Love ya just the way you are at any moment the writing bug bites.
  • From:
    MsLauren (Legacy)
    On:
    Wed Nov 02 2005
    I, too, am ditto'ing (gotta love making up words as one goes along, or is that the spelling of words?) what the others said.
    HAPPY 3 YEAR DD ANNIVERSARY!! Glad you're back!
    Lauren
  • From:
    Welshamethyst (Legacy)
    On:
    Wed Nov 02 2005
    ((((((((hugs)))))))))

    So glad to have you back, dear lady!! Love the new look!
  • From:
    Parett (Legacy)
    On:
    Thu Nov 03 2005
    I'm so glad you are back. You're my reason for being here.
    Keep your chin up...a tree may look dead in the winter time but there's some amazing things going on inside that we can't see. In the spring time it's obvious that there's been a transformation...I can't wait to see yours.

    I love you.....Parett