Supertrooper:
Could he tell me where the end of the rainbow can be found?
As I have need of a crock of gold.
The Oracle Speaks:
First of all, gold is not always what it is crocked up to be, let’s get that truism on the table right now as the Spanish explorer Francisco de Orellana could testify.
And after doing some historical research, the Oracle has discovered that even if you DID glimpse this pot of gold, rumor has it that you would need to locate a naked man to retrieve it for you. And everyone knows you cannot trust a naked man. Especially with a large crock of liquid assets involved.
It is entirely possible that even if you could locate said naked man and convince him to fetch your crock, the Oracle suspects that the only thing you would see at the end of that rainbow would be buttocks and elbows as your errand boy absconds with your gold.
This would clearly be more painful in the long run than never getting a look at that crock in the first place.
Furthermore, the Oracle knows that you happen to be blessed with a large number of friends. This is of much greater value than pottery at then end of a refraction arc.
Allimom:
Oh Mighty Oracle,
What will be this week’s winning Mega Millions Lottery numbers?
…. And wouldn’t it be funny if you were right?
;^D
Alli
The Oracle Speaks:
There was a time, in the distant past, when even I thought that random number selection was within my ken. But alas, the Oracle has turned in the fuzzy dice for more worthwhile financial endeavors. Though one must admit, the lure of fabulous wealth is a formidable force. And even though the Oracle has a strong desire to pick certain personal favorite numbers (control issues), one must suppose, with odds as high as the last molecule of oxygen in the atmosphere, a quick pick is as good as a guess. But just for grins, I will pass on to you the favored numbers of the Oracle.
4 – 8 – 18 – 32 – 42 – 22
Yes, the Oracle is aware that these are all even numbers. Even Oracles have our little quirks.
Pragmatist:
Okay Oracle, riddle me this one: Why is the grass greener on the other side of the fence?
- - Just Curious
The Oracle Speaks:
Because you are looking at the area just above someone else’s septic tank.
Welshamethyst:
Dear Oracle,
Do Japanese Beetles do anything other than devour plants and have orgies? Do they have hobbies or anything??
Thank you.
The Oracle Speaks:
Actually Japanese Beetles have been known to spend vast amounts of their spare time writing some of the most atrocious haiku in the known world.
Here is an example:
Leaf kitchen
Where harvest bugs ate.
Twigs in the mouth.
The Oracle rests our case. Oh the humanity!
ImNotLisa:
Oh great, wise, immaculately intelligent Oracle, please may I have the answer to the following question?
What restaurant was Rick wondering about yesterday and is it still in your particular neck of the woods? He can’t remember which one but we are certain you will know the answer to our question.
The Oracle Speaks:
The only restaurants worthy of the Oracle’s notice near and abouts the Pupik, are Fresh Choice and La Bou. The Oracle recommends the Roasted Eggplant Pannini at the latter. Revelations are likely to follow consumption of said concoction.
Dustbunny3:
Should I consult an Attorney before I post a question?? Big Brother is listening and I could be jailed.
The Oracle Speaks:
The Oracle senses a certain level of paranoia in your question. Surely some innocent queries of a bona fide wonder of the world would not evoke suspicions in the higher echelons. We do not foment violent overthrows of governments here. Nor do we discuss splodeydope* tactics or nuclear weapons schematics. Therefore the Oracle recommends that you cultivate some Zen-like serenity. It does wonders for the soul.
* splodeydope
1. A suicide bomber. A word frequently seen in conservative blogs.
(Little Green Footballs)
Calichef:
Oh wise and mighty Oracle, I have not sought your council in years past because I didn’t have a question that was worthy of your omnipotent grace. This time, I do.
It seems that we have two volunteer tomato plants in the yard that will impair the growth of two of the Celebrity tomatoes we planted this year if they are allowed to grow where they are currently growing. They are approximately one foot tall. If we dig them up and pot them in five-gallon buckets with drain holes, will they live to produce the Sweet 100’s they probably are? And if they will survive, do you think our mutual friend with the nice patio in front of her apartment might like to have one of them?
Only you can answer these question for me, great and wondrous Oracle.
Curiously,
~Cali
The Oracle Speaks:
The Oracle has perceived over the millennia, that tomato plants, bless their hearts, require only three things to thrive. 1. Plenty of sunlight. 2. Enough water…. but not too much! 3. A nice warm summer.
Therefore we would venture to predict if you provide these things for your tomatoes, they should do well. They even rather enjoy being transplanted, so hop to it while they are of a manageable size. And we would recommend doing the transplant in the evening, so they will have a cool dark time to acclimate during the first few traumatic hours.
As to your patio friend, what kind of friend worth her salt would turn down a nice tomato plant? We hear there is more sun in the front of her patio now that the tree has been removed. Go forth therefore and vegetate the neighborhood.
Mamallama:
Can you give me the plans for building a ship so I can go to Dhriana?
Thank you, O Mighty One.
The Oracle Speaks:
Ah, a dreamer approaches, give her room....
Now,
Alas and Alack, we cannot produce the plans you speak of, but mayhap you can take comfort in this thought. . .
In the distant future, the Oracle has seen a wondrous thing. Every worthy imagination of human beings could become reality. Therefore Middle Earth, Narnia, Shangri-la, and yes maybe even Dhriana will be places the adventuring spirit could visit. Why else would The One behind all things have given humanity such rich and powerful imaginations? We for one, would not mind clapping eyes on a talking lion, or having lunch with a white wizard. As a matter of fact, he and ourselves might have a few things in common eh?
Great things await us.
Make no mistake.
Dreamerbooks2003:
supplicant:
Will I find health, love, or peace this year??
any of the above ???
The dreamer
PS
Laughing out loud with dust bunny.. Oh you do have some good quarries flying round
Mighty oracle..
If I dared.. I'd ask such a question.. as might find me in need of an attorney. A political question as to the length of life for this current insanity..(admin)
But.. even the mightily oracle must have limits
:/
The Oracle Speaks:
It's not NICE to mention the limitations of the Oracle, but we will entertain your questions anyway.
As to your fortunes in the coming year, the Oracle perceives that health, love and peace are worthy pursuits. If you seek, surely you will find some of these things in your journey.
Now about the “insanity” of a certain leader…. The Oracle is a bit stunned that you are not aware that leaders can only hold this office for eight years. Then you get to choose another. This is a beautiful system it seems to the Oracle. Just imagine if you will, having Fidel Castro as your political father figure for 47 odd years, or Kim Jong-il for 12 ! Surely these men more closely resemble unhinged minds, wouldn't you agree? The Fates could have dealt you a much more difficult hand.
But back to your question. Politics is a tricky business even on a good day. And in your House of White, let us be honest, one man’s insanity is another man’s cigar.
Could he tell me where the end of the rainbow can be found?
As I have need of a crock of gold.
The Oracle Speaks:
First of all, gold is not always what it is crocked up to be, let’s get that truism on the table right now as the Spanish explorer Francisco de Orellana could testify.
And after doing some historical research, the Oracle has discovered that even if you DID glimpse this pot of gold, rumor has it that you would need to locate a naked man to retrieve it for you. And everyone knows you cannot trust a naked man. Especially with a large crock of liquid assets involved.
It is entirely possible that even if you could locate said naked man and convince him to fetch your crock, the Oracle suspects that the only thing you would see at the end of that rainbow would be buttocks and elbows as your errand boy absconds with your gold.
This would clearly be more painful in the long run than never getting a look at that crock in the first place.
Furthermore, the Oracle knows that you happen to be blessed with a large number of friends. This is of much greater value than pottery at then end of a refraction arc.
Allimom:
Oh Mighty Oracle,
What will be this week’s winning Mega Millions Lottery numbers?
…. And wouldn’t it be funny if you were right?
;^D
Alli
The Oracle Speaks:
There was a time, in the distant past, when even I thought that random number selection was within my ken. But alas, the Oracle has turned in the fuzzy dice for more worthwhile financial endeavors. Though one must admit, the lure of fabulous wealth is a formidable force. And even though the Oracle has a strong desire to pick certain personal favorite numbers (control issues), one must suppose, with odds as high as the last molecule of oxygen in the atmosphere, a quick pick is as good as a guess. But just for grins, I will pass on to you the favored numbers of the Oracle.
4 – 8 – 18 – 32 – 42 – 22
Yes, the Oracle is aware that these are all even numbers. Even Oracles have our little quirks.
Pragmatist:
Okay Oracle, riddle me this one: Why is the grass greener on the other side of the fence?
- - Just Curious
The Oracle Speaks:
Because you are looking at the area just above someone else’s septic tank.
Welshamethyst:
Dear Oracle,
Do Japanese Beetles do anything other than devour plants and have orgies? Do they have hobbies or anything??
Thank you.
The Oracle Speaks:
Actually Japanese Beetles have been known to spend vast amounts of their spare time writing some of the most atrocious haiku in the known world.
Here is an example:
Leaf kitchen
Where harvest bugs ate.
Twigs in the mouth.
The Oracle rests our case. Oh the humanity!
ImNotLisa:
Oh great, wise, immaculately intelligent Oracle, please may I have the answer to the following question?
What restaurant was Rick wondering about yesterday and is it still in your particular neck of the woods? He can’t remember which one but we are certain you will know the answer to our question.
The Oracle Speaks:
The only restaurants worthy of the Oracle’s notice near and abouts the Pupik, are Fresh Choice and La Bou. The Oracle recommends the Roasted Eggplant Pannini at the latter. Revelations are likely to follow consumption of said concoction.
Dustbunny3:
Should I consult an Attorney before I post a question?? Big Brother is listening and I could be jailed.
The Oracle Speaks:
The Oracle senses a certain level of paranoia in your question. Surely some innocent queries of a bona fide wonder of the world would not evoke suspicions in the higher echelons. We do not foment violent overthrows of governments here. Nor do we discuss splodeydope* tactics or nuclear weapons schematics. Therefore the Oracle recommends that you cultivate some Zen-like serenity. It does wonders for the soul.
* splodeydope
1. A suicide bomber. A word frequently seen in conservative blogs.
(Little Green Footballs)
Calichef:
Oh wise and mighty Oracle, I have not sought your council in years past because I didn’t have a question that was worthy of your omnipotent grace. This time, I do.
It seems that we have two volunteer tomato plants in the yard that will impair the growth of two of the Celebrity tomatoes we planted this year if they are allowed to grow where they are currently growing. They are approximately one foot tall. If we dig them up and pot them in five-gallon buckets with drain holes, will they live to produce the Sweet 100’s they probably are? And if they will survive, do you think our mutual friend with the nice patio in front of her apartment might like to have one of them?
Only you can answer these question for me, great and wondrous Oracle.
Curiously,
~Cali
The Oracle Speaks:
The Oracle has perceived over the millennia, that tomato plants, bless their hearts, require only three things to thrive. 1. Plenty of sunlight. 2. Enough water…. but not too much! 3. A nice warm summer.
Therefore we would venture to predict if you provide these things for your tomatoes, they should do well. They even rather enjoy being transplanted, so hop to it while they are of a manageable size. And we would recommend doing the transplant in the evening, so they will have a cool dark time to acclimate during the first few traumatic hours.
As to your patio friend, what kind of friend worth her salt would turn down a nice tomato plant? We hear there is more sun in the front of her patio now that the tree has been removed. Go forth therefore and vegetate the neighborhood.
Mamallama:
Can you give me the plans for building a ship so I can go to Dhriana?
Thank you, O Mighty One.
The Oracle Speaks:
Ah, a dreamer approaches, give her room....
Now,
Alas and Alack, we cannot produce the plans you speak of, but mayhap you can take comfort in this thought. . .
In the distant future, the Oracle has seen a wondrous thing. Every worthy imagination of human beings could become reality. Therefore Middle Earth, Narnia, Shangri-la, and yes maybe even Dhriana will be places the adventuring spirit could visit. Why else would The One behind all things have given humanity such rich and powerful imaginations? We for one, would not mind clapping eyes on a talking lion, or having lunch with a white wizard. As a matter of fact, he and ourselves might have a few things in common eh?
Great things await us.
Make no mistake.
Dreamerbooks2003:
supplicant:
Will I find health, love, or peace this year??
any of the above ???
The dreamer
PS
Laughing out loud with dust bunny.. Oh you do have some good quarries flying round
Mighty oracle..
If I dared.. I'd ask such a question.. as might find me in need of an attorney. A political question as to the length of life for this current insanity..(admin)
But.. even the mightily oracle must have limits
:/
The Oracle Speaks:
It's not NICE to mention the limitations of the Oracle, but we will entertain your questions anyway.
As to your fortunes in the coming year, the Oracle perceives that health, love and peace are worthy pursuits. If you seek, surely you will find some of these things in your journey.
Now about the “insanity” of a certain leader…. The Oracle is a bit stunned that you are not aware that leaders can only hold this office for eight years. Then you get to choose another. This is a beautiful system it seems to the Oracle. Just imagine if you will, having Fidel Castro as your political father figure for 47 odd years, or Kim Jong-il for 12 ! Surely these men more closely resemble unhinged minds, wouldn't you agree? The Fates could have dealt you a much more difficult hand.
But back to your question. Politics is a tricky business even on a good day. And in your House of White, let us be honest, one man’s insanity is another man’s cigar.
The Oracle Has Spoken