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D'vorahDavida
Yetzirah

It Gets Better
Wed Dec 24 2008



After yesterday's entry, you might think, 'It couldn't get much worse.'

You would be sadly mistaken my naive friends....

This is where the incident took place:

[album 65561 Location 1.JPG]

Imagine me sitting in this cozy spot, applying a 'soft paw' claw cover on one of Fiona's sharp claws. We popped the little thing on and I was sitting with her in my lap waiting a moment for the glue to set. All the dogs gathered around for this prime opportunity to wash Fiona's head and ears. Bandit has become VERY attached to Fiona now that he can get close without her running away every single time. And this was a really prime opportunity for him to obsess over her.

(You mean slobber on her don't you?)

If you don't shut up, I'm going to start using semicolons where colons should be in use, just to irritate you.

As I was saying...

There we were having our equivalent of a particularly tender group hug, with the added benefit of a nice dog/cat training session..... it was going very well. I was so pleased.

***

Then the doorbell rang.

All three dogs began barking hysterically. Fiona jumped straight up in the air and sailed by the lamp, which started to fall over, I reached up and grabbed it before it landed, thus saving a treasured object I have had in my house since my boys were little.

I went to the door and opened it a crack to see who I was going to shoot.

It was some teenager wanting me to take the Sacramento Bee.

If he only knew what we REALLY think of the Sacramento Bee, he would never have walked up our sidewalk. I sent him on his way as calmly as I could and then turned around to face the mob.

"Okay, I said, we are holding class. Right here, right now. This is totally unacceptable."

Well, that is what I'm telling YOU I said. My actual language was a bit more colorful.

I waited until the kid had gone a few more houses down so he couldn't see my odd behavior, or hear me yelling....

I opened the front door and stood there ringing the doorbell over and over and over, telling everyone to be quiet. Any woof, any curled lip, any movement whatever was reprimanded. Bing bong, bing bong, bing bong.... "Boring. See? It's boring, boring, boring..... Bing bong, bing bong. "CAN IT!"

Finally they all sat there looking at me and each other, while I rang the bell over and over. I waited until I could see that look on their faces that told me they were beginning to think *I* needed some kind of class, or more to the point, psychiatric intervention.

For the record, I just now tried it again. I only had to tell them to shush three times before they calmed down. I think I will do it every day until they are bored stiff by the whole thing.

I don't want to peel the cat off the ceiling any more. It leaves a mark.


And there's an end of it.

(Don't you wish.....)
















8 Comments
  • From:
    Dustbunny3 (Legacy)
    On:
    Wed Dec 24 2008
    AH YES Just another day in the Animal House of
    Mather. You would make a good Drill SGT.
  • From:
    BakeACake (Legacy)
    On:
    Wed Dec 24 2008
    Bwahhahaha! My goodness!!! What a great idea to ring the bell over and over again!!! I've got to try that with Odie, my lab....thanks!
  • From:
    Pragmatist (Legacy)
    On:
    Wed Dec 24 2008
    Three barking dogs, hysterical or not, is enough to send a cat sailing thru the air. I hope your training quiets the pandemonium.

    What happened to Fiona's pretty claw covers? Did they stay on?

    Oh my! you do have an interesting (is that the correct word?) menage.


    Bless
  • From:
    Camomille (Legacy)
    On:
    Wed Dec 24 2008
    That is good for several chuckles today . . . thank you! I know, I know . . . it's inappropriate to laugh at other's misfortunes . . . I just can't HELP myself. Like when my girlfriend told me she fell down a flight of stairs at her new apartement . . . thump, thump, one step at a time with her 14 year old son at the top waving his arms shouting 'What do I do, what do I do?!?'. I laughed hystericallly when she told the story. She informed me that most people reacted by asking how she was.
    Uhhhhhhh . . .
  • From:
    ImNotLisa (Legacy)
    On:
    Wed Dec 24 2008
    I think that's the best way to deal with it. If they get used to it they won't care so much about it. Hopefully. ;o)
  • From:
    Mamallama (Legacy)
    On:
    Wed Dec 24 2008
    That's brilliant!!
    Brilliant I tell you.
    Ya know. You should rescue and train dogs or something.
    You're good! :o)
  • From:
    404Error (Legacy)
    On:
    Thu Dec 25 2008
    On the fourth day of Hannukah my true love gave to me:
    Four ring-a-dings,
    Three ape-shit dogs,
    Two nonplussed humans,
    And a cat hanging from the ceiling.
  • From:
    Diane (Unauthenticated) (Legacy)
    On:
    Sat Jan 03 2009
    Okay, I am laughing so hard I have to work at keeping myself from falling off my computer chair! Great idea though and lady I can see you doing it! Glad it seems to be working and that you were able to save your lamp. Hopefully that weill be the last time you have to peel Fiona off the ceiling!