The petitions....
From Cheryl T. :
So...my question for the Oracle is this... What is the meaning of happiness and how does one achieve it?
Oracle:
My dear friend, as everyone knows, 'Happiness is a warm puppy.' Or so it was said by a cartoonist of renown a long time ago. Though to be sure, if one looks too deeply into that cartoonist's life, one might want to find someone else to quote. Life and Art sometimes are not on speaking terms with one another. Nevertheless, there's a lot to be said for warm puppies. Though they are very cute in photographs, we all know that right before, and right after that photograph was taken there were random acts of mayhem involving incontinence at either end of said puppy and no end of danger to any object in the immediate vicinity that it can sink its razor sharp teeth into.
But I digress.
Happiness comes in as many forms as there are human beings in this world. It's everywhere. I mean EVERYWHERE. Only thing is it's a movable, ever changing, morphing little vixen and you have to be quick on your feet to catch up to her. The trick is, as far as I can tell, to get up every morning determined to find it in little things. Lots of little things. Such as, "Oh look! The sun came up again today!" Or, "I'm still breathing, awesome!" If you can master those two, then the rest will be easier. You will slide right into the other small happy moments in the day, such as: 'Ha! there are still three chocolate chip cookies left in the jar, and the milk hasn't gone sour yet. Woot!' Happiness and Gratitude are twins. Practice one, and you'll get the other free of charge.
FutureCat:
Wow, so many visitors to the Oracle back then. Wasn't DD a busy wee place back in the day? So I guess my question to the Oracle will have to be: Where'd everybody go?
Oracle:
Ah yes, DD was a bit more tight knit and cozy back then wasn't it? I still have fond memories of a few stand out diarists... Realm of Rachel, Life of Louise two friends from England who were going to university together as English majors. Lordy they were a stimulating pair. But best of all was Billy Teabags. What wit! We were distraught when he stopped writing.... and even made a formal plea for his return: http://www.deardiary.org/yetzirah/2004/01/15/come-back-billy-teabags/#comments
(To be fair, that was twelve YEARS ago! Nothing on the internet is the same as it was twelve years ago. As a matter of fact, twelve in web years is like one hundred and twenty years in real life don't you know....)
Alas my dear friend, the internet is a fickle, fadish friend and many of our erstwhile companions in bloggerdom have moved on to different, and possibly more stimulating pastures. The ubiquitous FB lured many into its clutches and those of us who are inclined to wordiness and semi-annonimity have remained to hold down the fort. Speaking of which, we are grateful (see previous answer) for The Fearless Leader who continues to provide a place for us to store our virtual digital realities here in this remodeled, if less crowded and hamish*venue.
*hamish : a Yiddish word meaning 'homey, cozy, warm'
Cheryl F. :
Is it better to be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
Oracle:
As a confirmed worried genius Myself, it would be easy to defend such a lofty but tortured place to be holding in life, but I have to admit, some days it is a weariness to the bones. I knew a woman once who lived a good and long life who one could perhaps have taken for a simpleton on casual acquaintance because she was so joyful, the dear woman could hardly utter a sentence without adding laughter as her personal form of punctuation. When she passed away, half the town turned out for her funeral. I doubt that such a thing will happen at mine. So if being remembered by others is any gauge of what is better in life, in all honesty, I think joyful might have to take the prize.
Cheryl F. :
If we learn from our mistakes, should we try to make more of them?
Oracle:
Generally speaking, our mistakes are so frequent and appear on such a staggeringly regular basis, that any energy expended on increasing their number would be a pitiful waste of valuable time better spent eating chocolate.
Tara:
Oh great Oracle! When can I next expect a visit from the Passover Fairy?
Oracle:
Do you KNOW the Passover Fairy personally? I mean it sounds like you have met her before. If so, I surely hope she shows up at your house, because then you could send my regards and invite her post haste to the Pupik residence. I have made a list with fully 62 items on it for Passover preparations and there's no one here but Me to do all that work. I could sure use another pair of hands... and wings to help out. Let me know if she graces you with her sparkly fairyness any time soon.
Mamallama:
Dear Oracle, How do I get to Kansas? Not the one with tornados, the one with Munchkins.
Oracle:
Having visited Kansas Myself, I can understand your desire to go there. It's a lovely state, with lovely people living in it. However, you will recall that the way Dorothy arrived in 'Kansas with the Munchkins' was via said dreaded tornado, so there's that.... But I'm not an Oracle for nothing and I perceive that you are asking a deeper question involving fantastical worlds with good witches and talking scarecrows and something having to do with rainbows and what not.
It's a difficult fact of being a human being, that our adventures in this life are hardly ever accompanied by memorable soundtracks and gasps or tears from the audience to keep us company. Much of the time we can feel like we are stuck in a terrible B movie with canned laughter and really annoying commercial jingles instead. But this is only an illusion. You must trust the Oracle on this, make it your leap of faith. There IS an audience of angelics and other unimaginable beings that see your plight. They weep at your defeats and shout for joy when you triumph. We just can't see or hear them... it is our test. And it will be our medal of honor when all is revealed, that we did the best we could against seemingly insurmountable odds. Hold your head up. You are the heroine and they are all counting on you to make a happy ending of the whole tangled mess.
P.S. Don't forget, along with the adorable Munchkins, and Glinda of the enormous tulle dress, there were those damn flying monkeys. I don't know about you, but I'll take the Kansas with the tornados any day over those creepy little creatures with the mohawks and stupid vests..... just sayin'.
PandaCat:
I have spent the last three days weeding one of my flower beds... so wise one, why is it weeds thrive and survive the bitter cold winter while several of my precious beauties succumbed and live no more?? There are far too many weeds in spite of all my efforts to eradicate them.
Oracle:
Weeds, noxious or otherwise actually are doing the work that the prima donnas of the plant world won't touch with a ten foot stamen. Namely to cover the poorest of soils under the most harsh conditions, with some kind of greenery. They do it with no thanks and much opposition from many quarters. They don't ask you for a thing. Not even water. They never bother you to go buy them some specially formulated fertilizer, and you must admit, your precious beauties demand constant attention and admiration all the live long day. They go into a decline the minute that the conditions are not completely to their liking, and pretty much make you do all the work.
Now I admit, we do this work willingly, because to be fair, they do give back something by way of exotic bloom, or patterned leaf, or intoxicating fragrance. It's a pact we sign on for every year at the nursery. But this doesn't change the fact that the weeds are always there, ready to step in when all else fails. Which the beauties do, with regularity. The poor weeds just don't know any better than to barge in where they aren't welcome. They are a bit dim, but are just trying to do their job.
So my dear, it's a harsh reality of being a gardener that you and the weeds will continue to battle it out in your flower beds.
To brutally misquote a famous Rabbi from long ago... "The weeds you will always have with you."
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but hey, it's in My job description. Right there under "Oracle is not allowed to tell people what they want to hear all the time"
Evidently, this is one of those times.
***
THE ORACLE HAS SPOKEN
(What a bunch of bloviating nonsense! I'm glad it's over.)
I HEARD THAT.
(So what, I know who you really are and I'm not af #%2&%~~ ZZZZZT... pffft
YOU WERE SAYING?
