How would you like to be a member of a...harem? A strange thought about what exactly averts modern women of the West from the idea of sharing one man between many? I’d better make a point first, that this is not about the question of polygamy or any other morally-politically exaggerated issues related to the fact of one man letting into his lifespace many women. Lets look into it with the eyes of a woman that might be voluntarily taking part in such arrangement. I would not talk about women of the Middle East either. Although, I’m reminded of my visit to Egypt last year. And my meeting with a local pharaoh and his two wives. Even then it was so noticeable how they both were in total love with him and also how happy he was being a little king of his kingdom. OK, that man in my eyes worth nothing and didn’t impress me much, but these two young girls - they looked so happy together! I almost envied them that moment. Of course, this is completely different culture. When I used to have lengthy discussions with friends, the concept of modern polygamy was explained to me in a simple rule: you can only have few wives, if you are capable to provide them with equal attention. And that’s not just material – gifts, clothes, food. This is also concerning relationships. If you smile to one, you must turn to the other and smile to her too. If you complimented one, the other should be equally complimented, and so on…what amazes me: that women there are quite happy with this policy.
Modern woman of the West obviously cannot accept such “total equality”. Try to imagine what would you feel if you are one of many? Jealousy could be a problem in theory, right? But what if the man indeed gives the same attention to you as he gives to others? (Let’s imagine such an ideal situation, ok?) so, you’re not jealous, you share housework for one between the two or three of you, you’ve got more time for yourself, plus you’ve got your girlfriends “at hand” should you wish to have a girly chat or “pyjamas party”…you don’t need babysitter, as it is easy to share this duty within family. Apart from convenience there are also many other factors that might be beneficial: sharing of experience, sharing of ideas, of skills, of talents…
Now…to put yourself into their place. Imagine an ideal situation, when there are no material obstacles to your happiness or lack of attention from your beloved. Could you really do it? I asked myself: could I do it and if not, then - why?...For me personally the big put off would be to be “one of many”, to be merged with the others in one “background” so that there is no difference for the man, which way he’ll turn to at any particular moment. It is the equality itself that disturbs me. For the equation is unbalanced: the man gets to divide his love in portions, while women have whole theirs to give. Doesn’t it look like someone gets to collect the most with the least effort? And the other thing I’m personally not comfortable with at all: being one of a few, doesn’t that means – being “averaged”, loosing what’s special about you? Because of course there would be no precedents of treating different women differently…isn’t it a self-esteem killer – never be recognised as a special someone? The phrase “everyone is equal, some are more equal then the others" takes another meaning now…;-)
So if you were given a chance to join the harem, would you do that? And if not, then – why?
Modern woman of the West obviously cannot accept such “total equality”. Try to imagine what would you feel if you are one of many? Jealousy could be a problem in theory, right? But what if the man indeed gives the same attention to you as he gives to others? (Let’s imagine such an ideal situation, ok?) so, you’re not jealous, you share housework for one between the two or three of you, you’ve got more time for yourself, plus you’ve got your girlfriends “at hand” should you wish to have a girly chat or “pyjamas party”…you don’t need babysitter, as it is easy to share this duty within family. Apart from convenience there are also many other factors that might be beneficial: sharing of experience, sharing of ideas, of skills, of talents…
Now…to put yourself into their place. Imagine an ideal situation, when there are no material obstacles to your happiness or lack of attention from your beloved. Could you really do it? I asked myself: could I do it and if not, then - why?...For me personally the big put off would be to be “one of many”, to be merged with the others in one “background” so that there is no difference for the man, which way he’ll turn to at any particular moment. It is the equality itself that disturbs me. For the equation is unbalanced: the man gets to divide his love in portions, while women have whole theirs to give. Doesn’t it look like someone gets to collect the most with the least effort? And the other thing I’m personally not comfortable with at all: being one of a few, doesn’t that means – being “averaged”, loosing what’s special about you? Because of course there would be no precedents of treating different women differently…isn’t it a self-esteem killer – never be recognised as a special someone? The phrase “everyone is equal, some are more equal then the others" takes another meaning now…;-)
So if you were given a chance to join the harem, would you do that? And if not, then – why?