Don’t you just hate it when it happens? You’ve got the feeling that you are doing everything right and then the feedback tells - it was all wrong that you’ve done?..not that you cannot re-do, amend, change, mind you, not irreversible, all in your powers, yet still…nasty little discomfort creeps into your mind and you feel if not embarrassed then at least as if you let yourself down…crap…I am still to learn to back down in grace when the things I’ve done go wrong…and of course eventually I will surprise myself with what is possible…I always do…eventually…I’m wondering though…sometimes I'm backing down because I like somebody else to have the advantage, sometimes I am loosing the challenge because I like somebody else to win…and sometimes I walk away because I like someone else to step in...in work, in friendship, in life...yet I still don't seem to develop that "thick skin" defence…and I still don't seem to able to be cool about it...so me thinking here…when we ever learn at last ?..or maybe it should be a question of will we ever learn?..
Today I developed a fondness for revolving doors…literally…when passing through revolving doors today, I couldn’t help, but walked one circle more within them…somehow it felt as if this is a proper thing to do, that it will give me that extra time to think of the purpose of me going inside…A thought came to mind that I might eventually enter the same place from where I came…and a thought of loosing sense of direction came too…and another thought of being observed by all those people standing around, waiting until I get myself out of the rotating trap…somewhat disturbing feeling of making a fool of self…it happened twice today – the revolving doors didn’t want to let me just slip through them unnoticed…I wonder if this has any meaningful meaning…
Today I developed a fondness for revolving doors…literally…when passing through revolving doors today, I couldn’t help, but walked one circle more within them…somehow it felt as if this is a proper thing to do, that it will give me that extra time to think of the purpose of me going inside…A thought came to mind that I might eventually enter the same place from where I came…and a thought of loosing sense of direction came too…and another thought of being observed by all those people standing around, waiting until I get myself out of the rotating trap…somewhat disturbing feeling of making a fool of self…it happened twice today – the revolving doors didn’t want to let me just slip through them unnoticed…I wonder if this has any meaningful meaning…