I've been scrolling through posts on the Daily Strength site…I can easily see the common threads, which is what makes this place a good support source. I believe in the old truths to be repeated again and again until they've wearied out on one only to be re-applied to another...and I can see people coming here, all with the same symptoms, all looking for a cure and all getting the same treatment and all eventually leave, healed to the point from where general "emergency" things are no longer needed. Somewhat make-shift ER for relationships victims.
I let myself to wonder just how much of a truth there is in each faithfully followed "support injection"...probably not a lot. But nonetheless the most needed, so I'm not questioning if it is the right thing to do to say to someone "you deserve more then this", "you are a great person and he is a jerk"...it is a right thing to say at the right time. Humans seem to have that sub-conscious sense of how to stroke for each particular wound. And I've been on the receiving side myself, and I found that it does help. A lot. In fact, it might be the only thing that helped me through, as I didn't involve friends and family at all.
The most common reaction one gets when pouring his heart out “you don’t deserve this”…having been on that support site long enough I recognise the pattern very well…I have nothing against it. these are powerful words. I'm sure most of us never deserved what we've got. However, I have to ask myself:
What is it exactly that I deserve? I mean not what I would be happy to have, but more - what would be enough for me to feel happy?
I WANT TO KNOW MY REALISTIC “DESERVENESS”
I’m sure I can bring a lot to the relationships. I can also put up with a lot in them. And that was what I always thought. And now my ideals have been abused by selfishness and ego. And I think it is time for me to re-define those things I am willing to tolerate and the ones I can no longer accept. time to define what I worth, if only in my own eyes.
Sure I am not a perfect person. I have my own worms. But I know my limitations and when I have to press them against the limitations of another I wish that when we clash, the jagged edges just slide between each other, filling cracks, scratching the surface, but at least not breaking it...
I want to find out what exactly do I deserve to have. And I wish to make this my personal quest from now and until the day I know my answers.
I let myself to wonder just how much of a truth there is in each faithfully followed "support injection"...probably not a lot. But nonetheless the most needed, so I'm not questioning if it is the right thing to do to say to someone "you deserve more then this", "you are a great person and he is a jerk"...it is a right thing to say at the right time. Humans seem to have that sub-conscious sense of how to stroke for each particular wound. And I've been on the receiving side myself, and I found that it does help. A lot. In fact, it might be the only thing that helped me through, as I didn't involve friends and family at all.
The most common reaction one gets when pouring his heart out “you don’t deserve this”…having been on that support site long enough I recognise the pattern very well…I have nothing against it. these are powerful words. I'm sure most of us never deserved what we've got. However, I have to ask myself:
What is it exactly that I deserve? I mean not what I would be happy to have, but more - what would be enough for me to feel happy?
I WANT TO KNOW MY REALISTIC “DESERVENESS”
I’m sure I can bring a lot to the relationships. I can also put up with a lot in them. And that was what I always thought. And now my ideals have been abused by selfishness and ego. And I think it is time for me to re-define those things I am willing to tolerate and the ones I can no longer accept. time to define what I worth, if only in my own eyes.
Sure I am not a perfect person. I have my own worms. But I know my limitations and when I have to press them against the limitations of another I wish that when we clash, the jagged edges just slide between each other, filling cracks, scratching the surface, but at least not breaking it...
I want to find out what exactly do I deserve to have. And I wish to make this my personal quest from now and until the day I know my answers.