Cannot choose which one to start from…I often found that after reading other’s diaries I have this urge to say something, to share my opinion of the issue raised. I rarely leave a comment in other places. I have a reservation about this form of making my point. I had few incidents in the past. not everyone likes to hear different from their own opinion . I prefer to elaborate on the idea in my own space. I don’t need a debate; I just want to express my view. So few thoughts picked up on my DDtravels…
Letting go…
It is important in my opinion to understand that letting go is a process related to the other person. When we attached to someone very much and then need to let them go, that never means – we should stop care. It is great care – to let another be the way they are the most happy. If you let go this doesn’t make you look as if you “don’t care”. To ``let go'' is not to care for, but to care about.
Trust…
Oh well, I don’t suppose I have rights to discuss this, actually, since my own rules of trust have been turned upside down. But I have just enough sense to understand that even if I personally might have current difficulties with this aspect of relationships; the ideas of trust in relationships haven’t changed. Why do we always assume if we trust someone then they betrayed our trust and hurt us badly? This does happen, yes, but hey, if you don’t risk it, you won’t know if you can trust this person or not. But think of that other person, who tries in vain to get through your walls. If you don’t open and they don’t open, where the trusting start? Somebody should step forward and take the risk and responsibility. Trust doesn’t “come” to you as something you feel. You consciously make a decision whether you trust this person or not. The same time you consciously make an effort to assure the other they can trust you too.
Love…
No, I’m not sure if I do want this one. Why humans are so fixated with love anyway? And the most surprising thing is – everyone seems to be obsessed with the romantic aspect of love, often mistaken it for the whole concept. In the course of early discussions with my ex, I’ve heard this opinion “everybody’s looking for love”…I wonder why when we think we should “search” and “find” love, we think about searching and finding SOMEONE who will give us love? Maybe that is why so many people cannot find it? Because they don’t really want to love. They want to BE loved. So many of us simply cannot love because love in their minds associated with receiving. And we miss the whole point of loving waiting for a stranger to do all the work for us. Personally I prefer not to be loved. I don’t feel I can give anything in return - my heart is empty…
Drama…
Actually, psychodrama. I’ve been sitting in my favourite café few weeks ago and noticed advert on the wall about psychodrama workshop to explore the intimacy and separateness in relationships. Since my experience with counselling last October was more then disappointing, the idea of trying unconventional techniques looked attractive enough for me to book for this workshop. I went there on Saturday. Strange experience, but perhaps,not the one I’d be interested in any longer. The idea was – to “play out” some scenes from the real life of the participants and by re-playing scenes over and over, adjusting the outcome, helping the person to see things differently. Well, nothing wrong with the idea, isn’t it? I won’t describe every scene we played (there were 6 of us there, hence 6 different scenarios to go through – it was all day event) …I just say one thing. Despite of my strong feeling of “knowing the answer” for everyone else, my own revelations came as a surprise to me. What I didn’t know…well, I did, of course, but never admitted to myself! I do have at least one unresolved problem within me. And this workshop pulled it out of my pocket in no time. ..
Actually, it’s getting late and I’m getting tired. So more – next time, perhaps.
Letting go…
It is important in my opinion to understand that letting go is a process related to the other person. When we attached to someone very much and then need to let them go, that never means – we should stop care. It is great care – to let another be the way they are the most happy. If you let go this doesn’t make you look as if you “don’t care”. To ``let go'' is not to care for, but to care about.
Trust…
Oh well, I don’t suppose I have rights to discuss this, actually, since my own rules of trust have been turned upside down. But I have just enough sense to understand that even if I personally might have current difficulties with this aspect of relationships; the ideas of trust in relationships haven’t changed. Why do we always assume if we trust someone then they betrayed our trust and hurt us badly? This does happen, yes, but hey, if you don’t risk it, you won’t know if you can trust this person or not. But think of that other person, who tries in vain to get through your walls. If you don’t open and they don’t open, where the trusting start? Somebody should step forward and take the risk and responsibility. Trust doesn’t “come” to you as something you feel. You consciously make a decision whether you trust this person or not. The same time you consciously make an effort to assure the other they can trust you too.
Love…
No, I’m not sure if I do want this one. Why humans are so fixated with love anyway? And the most surprising thing is – everyone seems to be obsessed with the romantic aspect of love, often mistaken it for the whole concept. In the course of early discussions with my ex, I’ve heard this opinion “everybody’s looking for love”…I wonder why when we think we should “search” and “find” love, we think about searching and finding SOMEONE who will give us love? Maybe that is why so many people cannot find it? Because they don’t really want to love. They want to BE loved. So many of us simply cannot love because love in their minds associated with receiving. And we miss the whole point of loving waiting for a stranger to do all the work for us. Personally I prefer not to be loved. I don’t feel I can give anything in return - my heart is empty…
Drama…
Actually, psychodrama. I’ve been sitting in my favourite café few weeks ago and noticed advert on the wall about psychodrama workshop to explore the intimacy and separateness in relationships. Since my experience with counselling last October was more then disappointing, the idea of trying unconventional techniques looked attractive enough for me to book for this workshop. I went there on Saturday. Strange experience, but perhaps,not the one I’d be interested in any longer. The idea was – to “play out” some scenes from the real life of the participants and by re-playing scenes over and over, adjusting the outcome, helping the person to see things differently. Well, nothing wrong with the idea, isn’t it? I won’t describe every scene we played (there were 6 of us there, hence 6 different scenarios to go through – it was all day event) …I just say one thing. Despite of my strong feeling of “knowing the answer” for everyone else, my own revelations came as a surprise to me. What I didn’t know…well, I did, of course, but never admitted to myself! I do have at least one unresolved problem within me. And this workshop pulled it out of my pocket in no time. ..
Actually, it’s getting late and I’m getting tired. So more – next time, perhaps.