Once again – a thought from across the DS site. Every now and again I would go there and get caught in an issue raised. This time the question was asked which quality you want to develop the most…It made me think…
To be a dreamer again…I'm not joking. I found that whenever I begin to think of my future, it always ends up in cynical thoughts. I am not afraid of what future might bring, I'm not scared of it. I just not inspired, not motivated. I can say: I've lost my ability to dream. I want it back, I need to snap that cynicism off my mind, it stands on my way of enjoying life fully. I am living literally from day to day. My thoughts of my future were so dark and hopeless in the first Year After that I’ve learned not to allow myself to even think of the future further then the end of today. That sure helped to concentrate on surviving which eventually have brought me back in being confident that I can. However, often I'm noticing how I am deliberately avoiding any thoughts of future still, although I know intellectually it is not scary at all. I can't help it, but think of any possible "good" things in future as temporary, unstable matters of "random luck". I do believe good things can happen, I just don't believe they can ever last, so what’s the point of dreaming them…
To be a dreamer again…I'm not joking. I found that whenever I begin to think of my future, it always ends up in cynical thoughts. I am not afraid of what future might bring, I'm not scared of it. I just not inspired, not motivated. I can say: I've lost my ability to dream. I want it back, I need to snap that cynicism off my mind, it stands on my way of enjoying life fully. I am living literally from day to day. My thoughts of my future were so dark and hopeless in the first Year After that I’ve learned not to allow myself to even think of the future further then the end of today. That sure helped to concentrate on surviving which eventually have brought me back in being confident that I can. However, often I'm noticing how I am deliberately avoiding any thoughts of future still, although I know intellectually it is not scary at all. I can't help it, but think of any possible "good" things in future as temporary, unstable matters of "random luck". I do believe good things can happen, I just don't believe they can ever last, so what’s the point of dreaming them…