I forgot how many times I've started again, it seems like too many, but then, perhaps, this is what life is all about - to start from scratch again and again, until we'll get into habit of expecting something new each day...something new and nice it should be, otherwise what's the point, right...I'm not feeling down, not sad, just having slightly off-side flavoured thoughts, which I think were meant to run through my mind to remind there is something I do not know about what life has in store for me...happens every now and again, so I would just acknowledge them and stop and pause for a second suspended in the limbo of the letting go...take a deep breath...and...start again...from scratch...blank canvass...of entirely my own life this time...what should I colour it with today...is entirely up to me...
I’ve started the new set of changes with purchasing myself...a website. I have a small personal web where all my travelogues can be accessed by friends and family. It still sits on the ex’s commercial host, I’d really like to cut these ties as I did with the rest of them. It was meant long ago, I just never got around to it. Thought, now is as good time as any time, really. So I found this really cool webhosting and just bought it, easy as that. Making decisions has become such a joy, no mulling over, hesitating, contemplating; just find what I fancy, that’s all it takes. Beautifully simple! Besides the gain of all the wonderful new features, this will keep me busy for a while, which is always a good thing, isn’t it.
Someone said to me once: you’re lucky, something interesting is always happening around you, you are like a magnet for interesting things. I laughed. And thought how different my life would’ve been if I’d choose not to see interesting things around me on a daily basis. I refuse to believe there is nothing to glance at in anybody’s daily routine. Life is happening around us whether we want it or not. If we feel down, depressed, unconcerned or else, this doesn’t mean life's stops outside our doorstep, doesn't mean there aren’t any reasons to smile or enjoy a fleeting moment or two. It just means we do not wish to open the door, to open our eyes to see them. Interesting things do happen around each of us every single day, maybe every hour or even every moment. Just our senses can only cope with a few and our mind can process even less. But we certainly can choose what to sort for.
I have read about one of the experiments, when they made a group of clinically depressed people to spend at least 5 minutes a day...in front of a mirror, forcing a smile. They said, even if you totally reject the idea of smiling, once you start making an effort, it is very difficult to stay seriously sad after making silly faces at yourself for a little while. It was certainly not the cure for a clinical depression, but it was a way to start some useful chemical reactions to facilitate positive change. I’m not depressed, but I’ve tried it out of curiosity and guess what: it works!
I have to do two official job-related rants. Both of them cause me unnecessary grief and have to be vented off. The first one – we are moving offices. Due to organisational restructure we have to leave our wonderful out of centre location with a riverside view, ample parking and almost-traffic-free access. And we have to squeeze into an aged historical building with no parking facilities, brickwalled views, right in the middle of the messy, noisy town centre…oh joy. The travel costs will increase. The travel times will increase. The strain to the wallet will be enormous with all the shops in so tempting proximity, you can buy things randomly, bring them to the office to try on and return if don’t fit, all within the lunch time frame. But, above all, we will have to share this new office with the management and some team members who are bareble only when at a distance. I’m not happy, but I do not have a choice. Guess, you can say I’ve been spoilt with the job location for the last almost 9 years…the second job-rant is about someone who always manage to do things that they haven’t got a clue of and always manage to mess them up and always manage to get us to clear after them. Unfortunately, managing is in their job description. As you'd expect. Boo hoo...And I’m done with these two rants. Feel better now.