Haven’t been here for a while and found DDLand in trouble on my return. Oh-oh. Not good at all. I cannot even estimate the value this place has for me. There was a time when it was everything. My whole world, for every other world of mine was lost to the life’s poker hand. And while I do have Plus account. In fact, not even one, although the real need for such has long gone and I'm not using the full scaled features as I could've. I still felt the need to do something for the place that did so much for me. I hope sincerely that the community of DDLand won’t let the worst happened and together we will get the Diary through the trying times.
Life is strangely separated into two parts lately. When I am living in one, the other looks and seems and feels like a movie I’ve been watching as observer, uninvolved, unattached, unaffected. A very prominent divide it is. What makes it different from any other kind of “double life” is that neither of the parts is fantasy. They both are real pretty much. They both demand my full involvement when I’m in either of them. And when it is time to switch from one into another, it clicks like a snap of the fingers and I find myself facing completely different set of issues, different faces, and different pace of living. Two Different Worlds of Mine.
It bothers me. Not in a bad sense like disturbs or anything. Just slightly uneasy sense that something is not exactly as it should be, since the two of my worlds cannot fit in one into another. I suspect that’s what happened when you allow another person into your private space. A test run. Or adjustment phase. Or something. I am philosophically pensive about the whole thing. And I am patient. I am waiting until somehow it will become clear to me. Or obvious. Or logically explained. Or else. Until the moment when I will know what of it is to go and what to stay. I do believe in such moments of clarity. Eventually they will come to those who wait.