MissTick
Thingish Things

There are moments in anyone’s life when we feel a craving for something so much, it is almost unbearable. Of course, being a responsible adult, we know exactly how to keep such cravings under control following the rule of what’s appropriate and when. As a result we almost never get what we want when we want it. Those lucky enough might have what they wish for eventually, but the wish and the timing are rarely in synch. Children are much better in handling that. They see something, they want it, and they go for it. They may ask, beg, scream and stage hysterics until they get what they want. I often think that, perhaps, this is the main reason for people to be disappointed in their dreams – that because they do not get it the moment they wished for it, the waiting time and all anticipation create a somewhat false perception of that dream. The longer we can’t have it, the more we want it and the more we want it, the more we idealise it to be perfect, to be worthy of all that wait. And then it even may come true. And make us wonder if we gave too much time and too much patience and too much hope for what exactly. I’m a believer that a long-term postponed dream more often than not brings nothing but a disappointment. OK, let’s not talk on a global scale; let it be not a dream of something, but just a wish. A wish of any kind.  A craving for an ice cream or a need of a hug or simply a wish to say what’s on your mind, right now, at this very moment. How often do we let social conventions render us mute, just because the time, the place, the moment, the audience are not appropriate for the words.  Just because we care about the impression we give more than about the truth we tell. I’m not a preacher and am as guilty as any one reading this. I sacrifice my integrity for the sake of convenience and acceptance. And I just wonder what makes me do that. What forces us to have an endless conversation with another in our minds and do not let out a single word intended for their ears. How come that I am a product of a social norms system I personally disapprove.  Thinking further into that I’m leaning to believe that our behaviour is defined by self-acceptance.  Self-esteem dictates to us to be a road or a road roller. It is not a society that bullies me into doing or not doing. It is me, my very self and my self-love-and-hate relationship. Really, have to find the way out of that funk, find the way to be sure enough in myself. Sure enough to be unsure, as my friend likes to say.