MissTick
Thingish Things

Some days are more...hmmm..overfilled with "things" than other days. By "things" I mean - commitements, efforts, events, moods, thoughts, you know, all the things that demand your attention and when they happenned all at once, drain out your energy supply not because they are resource-hungry, but simply with the sheer quantity of all. This weekend happenned to be like that and is taken to linger further into today. I feel slightly overwhelmed from all the "stuff" that is happening around me. That funny feeling as if you only have to touch the pile every so gently and it is all coming down crushing like an avalanche, you know. Analysing last few days I can see there is nothing outside of the reson for it. The action-reaction pendulum swings promptly as it should and I'm getting weary ducking out from it on each swing. On saturday I have finished with the magical room, the room I prepped for a lodger.  Sunday morning I have publish an ad and on afternoon got fisrt call for it. Today they will come to view the room and there is a big chance I'll be a landlady again tonight. To be honest, as much as my main purpose for making this room was and is as to rent it out as soon as possible, that kind of soon&possible kind of scared me a bit. But hey, wasn't it me who wanted to start paying off the debts as soon as possible?! Can't complain about the "soon" part of the wish come true, can I? Mind is taxed by the few of the loads I could've done without. Some friends will come visit tonight to burden with some kind of their business. I feel uneasy about it yet I feel more uneasy to say no. One of them has a terminal desease and they asked me to be named executor in their will. All would've been ok should I know them a bit more closer than I do. But the only times I got to hear from them were twice last year when they needed my help with him being in the hospital. Never they have been in touch all these years after my divorce, not even to check on me if I'm ok or, indeed, if I am still alive or what. I do help when people in need ask me, I have no problems with that. I do not appreciate being thought of only when I'm needed, but I do my best and do what I can to help anyway. In this particular situation I am not close to them, neither I am aware of their affairs, way of living, relatives, addresses, etc.  If I'd put myself in their shoes, I would never want to burden someone that distant with what can be daunting task even for a close family. As if I don't have enough of my own affairs to look after. Yet I know that when they will come tonight to get my signature on their Will, I won't have heart to say No. The prospect of this meeting daunts me already as I do not feel it is a right thing. Oh well...*sighs* It happens that when a lot of things going on in our life, we are more susceptical to the fluctuations of the other factors affecting our mood, which in a better time would cause nothing more then a whince. But I find it harder to deal with indifference, ignorance and general lack of paying attention when I expect to find understanding and consideration. It is useless to speak of it again and again, i've done this so many times already and it never brought any positive result. People do change, yet some people like to just imagine their changes. Too long time spent in illusions causes permanent loss of touch with reality. I do not wish to bother to elaborate further on what exactly do I mean by that. If you didn't get it, it wasn't meant for you. So there goes my Monday, a perfect start for a week if you want your week to be a failure.