P, don't forget to let me know when I have 200 entries! and the next ones, at 300, 400,.. et cetera :) Like you did with the first 100. I think this is now my 197th one, right?
I stayed up for a long time last night, was planning on the whole night, but my Gandma ruined it, I started using my msn messenger and wrote a good firend on it, came back upstairs with a stack of notbooks, a project I was planning on doing all night long, and I saw that my friend wote and asked if I was still there. We talked till about 6:00, then she had to do something and I ended up going to sleep then. I remember seeing it like 6:01 a.m and thinking if I was still on the 'puter and not laying on my bed, the couch, I'd be talking to her still. That was the longest time I got to talk to her, it was nice, I got to know her a little more she's incredible! :) A naughty insomniac practically like me, I hope she got to sleep when she was home,... :)
So there I am, still having this terrible caffeine fit, ready to walk somewhere to get a pop to drink that I was craving, and I have the idea that I can call my Grandma at work, since she opens really early and it was about an hour after she normally gets there. I call her and ask if I can walk down to see her and get a pop, I whine, and beg. She says no way will I let you walk here alone when it's dark. Try to go to sleep, your mom will wake you up so you won't miss your meeting tomorrow. So I wake up beingtold I have twenty minutes till my m@p meeting starts by Teri. Mom did try to wake me up earlier by saying some weird things like your teeth smells, why don't you get up to brush them? I said go away dork. I was alsleep, but awake enough to be aggravated by such a stupid thing to say! So I woke up to a message my teacher eft, Mary, this is ____ so and so said to call you before 11:30, I'm sorry I missed you. I was pissed at myself, I missed seeing her!!! The only thought that made me feel better was well, I ate, so now she doesn't have to see my huge body when if I didn't eat and saw her, it'd look a little different! So I managed to get a ride to m@p, was late but ths discussion wasn't really going anywhere, anyway, then for our outing we took extra time inside the stage where we'll be at for our graduation we're getting ready for, instead of going out somewhere,
it was dangerously hot out today, the just be sitting in the car feeling like you're getting sunburnt and just standing outside for a second sweating profusely from the heat kind of hot. I don't know how many degrees it was out there, either. I go into my practicing, try to ask to use the restroom to get out of making my appearnce solo on stage, where I give my introduction, instead I go for it, and my mentor said that I was really beautiful, and wonderful at it, and that she meant it, wasn't just trying to make me feel good by saying it. Well, if that wasn't her intention, oh well, I felt good. Because I really did go out there with a lot of grace and a smile on my face that was kept held up. I thought I'd just try it, what the heck. As scared as I was, I didn't look it. I was so nervous, but it'll be easier for me at the graduation I'm sure.
I also had this hypercritical discussion with a girl in the program, we stick together like glue and paper, we are our own little cliche. she's so nice, and so insecure, yet she speaks well and she fakes it, I can learn a lot from her. That's what we're learning in the program, to feel better about ourselves. I told her at one time that it wasn't healthy what she was doing, not eating as much because she said she was taking metabolife. Now, she's a very tall, VERY beautiful girl, and I told her so, and also a lot of others when she said something in the discussion about it. I told her it wasn't healthy, she said it was, and I pointed out that it couldn't be when she was taking pills that she's not even old enough to buy herself yet, and from them not being hungry when thats' what we humans do, eat! mind you, she doesn't know I have an eating disorder, although I did mention that once I took 5 metabolife pills in on day and was so not hungry that I couldn't eat this bowl of soup that my dad had made. I remember throwing it away after taking a bite. When I got home, mom went out, I ended up babysitting and missed my explorers on purpose, though we drove up there and found out that there wasn't an advisor anyway, and they told me I should miss it instead of try to keep the 2 year old with me. She's the angel I mention a lot, and such an adorable copy cat! I layed down on my piggy pillow I have, on the floor, she dragged a pig stuffed animal next to me and lyed down, too, it was so adorable! She's asleep now, I'm just bored. I do have to sleep sometime tonight, but I'll wait, want to talk to my after midnight friend again first. It's 12:17! she's not on yet,..
Ok, I talked to my mentor on the phone today, we had serious talks, she wants to help me and has by that phone call, I chose my speech, at least what the first part of it will be so far, for my M@p graduation I have to say it and it has to be about some philosophy in life or something, all I can think of to write really, that I can relate to and not be hypercrtical is about cahnges and how to stay sane with the, basically. oh, before I write it, and my introduction speech, I took the "angel" to where I used to work, we saw three of my well, not friends exactly, but aquaintces.
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MY SPEECH AND INTRODUCTION
HI, MY NAME IS MARY ______. I AM 16 YEARS OLD. (IF NOT AT SAME SCHOOL, THEN I WILL SAY THE NAME OF THE SCHOOL WHERE I'LL PROBABLY ATTEND AT WHEN I MOVE INTO FOSTER CARE) ONE OF MY FAVORITE PASTTIMES IS TO READ, AND ANOTHER ACTIVITY THAT I BELONG TO IS FIRE/EMS EXPLORER WHIH IS LOCATED AT THE ---------- FIRE STATION. THAT'S ALL I WANTED TO MENTION IN MY INTRO.
MY SPEECH
I may start off with saying hi, again, because when reading this out loud, it came naturally to me and I also think that it'll help me to ease up a little.
One day (which happened to be yesterday, wed. the date I started writing this speech) I talked to my mentor (name of mentor, including her married name, I just found out at our meeting that she married her boyfriend on July 18th!) and we discussed a lot of different things that had to do with some dramatic changes going on with my life.
This was not the first,and even as I wrote this, probably not the last time that she had given me words of advice to guide me with based on experience and common sense. She told me that no matter where I live, or what school I go to, the only way that I can change some things about myself for the better is to choose to do so myself. Because when it comes down to it, I'm really all I have got, it's my life and I can't depend on anyone else to do it for me.
A lot of other people, too many in fact, like me who has had low self esteem and insecurity about themselves tend to feel helpless and not try to change. For example, someone may feel and complain that they weigh too much. They can complain and complain as much as they want, and others around them can offer advice on how to cahnge it or keep insisting that their weight is fine and/or that it doesn't really matter as long as they are healthy, but unless the indivisual try's to lose some weight themselves by maybe eating better or excercising more, it doesn't matter what anyone else says or does, it's all on that person to change, taking or leaving the advice and support given.
The moral to my speech, or the lesson that I hope I'm giving you a clear idea of, is that we all go through and need some changes, but in order to get them we have to do them ourselves, we can use friends and family for help, but in the end it's all up to one person and one person only. Thank you for listening.
********************************************************************************
Oh! I forgot to mention that the dance number we do as a group before we each go on stage and introduce ourselves, it's called the cha cha slide I think, and the songs says which steps to take, and I did it right! I had fun, too!
I stayed up for a long time last night, was planning on the whole night, but my Gandma ruined it, I started using my msn messenger and wrote a good firend on it, came back upstairs with a stack of notbooks, a project I was planning on doing all night long, and I saw that my friend wote and asked if I was still there. We talked till about 6:00, then she had to do something and I ended up going to sleep then. I remember seeing it like 6:01 a.m and thinking if I was still on the 'puter and not laying on my bed, the couch, I'd be talking to her still. That was the longest time I got to talk to her, it was nice, I got to know her a little more she's incredible! :) A naughty insomniac practically like me, I hope she got to sleep when she was home,... :)
So there I am, still having this terrible caffeine fit, ready to walk somewhere to get a pop to drink that I was craving, and I have the idea that I can call my Grandma at work, since she opens really early and it was about an hour after she normally gets there. I call her and ask if I can walk down to see her and get a pop, I whine, and beg. She says no way will I let you walk here alone when it's dark. Try to go to sleep, your mom will wake you up so you won't miss your meeting tomorrow. So I wake up beingtold I have twenty minutes till my m@p meeting starts by Teri. Mom did try to wake me up earlier by saying some weird things like your teeth smells, why don't you get up to brush them? I said go away dork. I was alsleep, but awake enough to be aggravated by such a stupid thing to say! So I woke up to a message my teacher eft, Mary, this is ____ so and so said to call you before 11:30, I'm sorry I missed you. I was pissed at myself, I missed seeing her!!! The only thought that made me feel better was well, I ate, so now she doesn't have to see my huge body when if I didn't eat and saw her, it'd look a little different! So I managed to get a ride to m@p, was late but ths discussion wasn't really going anywhere, anyway, then for our outing we took extra time inside the stage where we'll be at for our graduation we're getting ready for, instead of going out somewhere,
it was dangerously hot out today, the just be sitting in the car feeling like you're getting sunburnt and just standing outside for a second sweating profusely from the heat kind of hot. I don't know how many degrees it was out there, either. I go into my practicing, try to ask to use the restroom to get out of making my appearnce solo on stage, where I give my introduction, instead I go for it, and my mentor said that I was really beautiful, and wonderful at it, and that she meant it, wasn't just trying to make me feel good by saying it. Well, if that wasn't her intention, oh well, I felt good. Because I really did go out there with a lot of grace and a smile on my face that was kept held up. I thought I'd just try it, what the heck. As scared as I was, I didn't look it. I was so nervous, but it'll be easier for me at the graduation I'm sure.
I also had this hypercritical discussion with a girl in the program, we stick together like glue and paper, we are our own little cliche. she's so nice, and so insecure, yet she speaks well and she fakes it, I can learn a lot from her. That's what we're learning in the program, to feel better about ourselves. I told her at one time that it wasn't healthy what she was doing, not eating as much because she said she was taking metabolife. Now, she's a very tall, VERY beautiful girl, and I told her so, and also a lot of others when she said something in the discussion about it. I told her it wasn't healthy, she said it was, and I pointed out that it couldn't be when she was taking pills that she's not even old enough to buy herself yet, and from them not being hungry when thats' what we humans do, eat! mind you, she doesn't know I have an eating disorder, although I did mention that once I took 5 metabolife pills in on day and was so not hungry that I couldn't eat this bowl of soup that my dad had made. I remember throwing it away after taking a bite. When I got home, mom went out, I ended up babysitting and missed my explorers on purpose, though we drove up there and found out that there wasn't an advisor anyway, and they told me I should miss it instead of try to keep the 2 year old with me. She's the angel I mention a lot, and such an adorable copy cat! I layed down on my piggy pillow I have, on the floor, she dragged a pig stuffed animal next to me and lyed down, too, it was so adorable! She's asleep now, I'm just bored. I do have to sleep sometime tonight, but I'll wait, want to talk to my after midnight friend again first. It's 12:17! she's not on yet,..
Ok, I talked to my mentor on the phone today, we had serious talks, she wants to help me and has by that phone call, I chose my speech, at least what the first part of it will be so far, for my M@p graduation I have to say it and it has to be about some philosophy in life or something, all I can think of to write really, that I can relate to and not be hypercrtical is about cahnges and how to stay sane with the, basically. oh, before I write it, and my introduction speech, I took the "angel" to where I used to work, we saw three of my well, not friends exactly, but aquaintces.
********************************************************************************
MY SPEECH AND INTRODUCTION
HI, MY NAME IS MARY ______. I AM 16 YEARS OLD. (IF NOT AT SAME SCHOOL, THEN I WILL SAY THE NAME OF THE SCHOOL WHERE I'LL PROBABLY ATTEND AT WHEN I MOVE INTO FOSTER CARE) ONE OF MY FAVORITE PASTTIMES IS TO READ, AND ANOTHER ACTIVITY THAT I BELONG TO IS FIRE/EMS EXPLORER WHIH IS LOCATED AT THE ---------- FIRE STATION. THAT'S ALL I WANTED TO MENTION IN MY INTRO.
MY SPEECH
I may start off with saying hi, again, because when reading this out loud, it came naturally to me and I also think that it'll help me to ease up a little.
One day (which happened to be yesterday, wed. the date I started writing this speech) I talked to my mentor (name of mentor, including her married name, I just found out at our meeting that she married her boyfriend on July 18th!) and we discussed a lot of different things that had to do with some dramatic changes going on with my life.
This was not the first,and even as I wrote this, probably not the last time that she had given me words of advice to guide me with based on experience and common sense. She told me that no matter where I live, or what school I go to, the only way that I can change some things about myself for the better is to choose to do so myself. Because when it comes down to it, I'm really all I have got, it's my life and I can't depend on anyone else to do it for me.
A lot of other people, too many in fact, like me who has had low self esteem and insecurity about themselves tend to feel helpless and not try to change. For example, someone may feel and complain that they weigh too much. They can complain and complain as much as they want, and others around them can offer advice on how to cahnge it or keep insisting that their weight is fine and/or that it doesn't really matter as long as they are healthy, but unless the indivisual try's to lose some weight themselves by maybe eating better or excercising more, it doesn't matter what anyone else says or does, it's all on that person to change, taking or leaving the advice and support given.
The moral to my speech, or the lesson that I hope I'm giving you a clear idea of, is that we all go through and need some changes, but in order to get them we have to do them ourselves, we can use friends and family for help, but in the end it's all up to one person and one person only. Thank you for listening.
********************************************************************************
Oh! I forgot to mention that the dance number we do as a group before we each go on stage and introduce ourselves, it's called the cha cha slide I think, and the songs says which steps to take, and I did it right! I had fun, too!