Today I woke up after my first bad sleep at my foster home and layed in bed, it was maybe 9 something, and then i fell back asleep, it was so quiet and my first time not being woken up by Shganicca, and I finally was laying in bed reading around 2 in the afternnon, by 4, I had gotten up and was using the phone a little,... had to get ready for mom to pick me up at 430, and ada was expecting me to be home and her driving me home, but I had noone around, and nothing to do really, and was depressed, I guess not the brightest ideas to go to a depressing place, my mothers house in that state, but oh well.
So i go home, Catlin comes for me to watch her, I go to a church activity with Teri and Catlin, had fun, came back home, my mother, no, Ann, she came home from bingo and was playing canasta on the computer,... I can't stand her. My foster mom, ada said that she didn't understand why I have to come home each weekend when the took me out of the house for a reason, I don't know and I'm tired of it. I am qutting my job soon, and if I even go, I hate to say home, but it'll be to my dads, we're growing closer every day, I love that man! I fon't have many men to care about and or trust, and until recently, that wasn't my dad. I wonder, how parents really feel when their kids are taken from them, and esp. when they would rather stay at their foster homes then come home to them. I think that's only whn the parent really doesn't care. Like, my mom doesn't even bother to not gam,ble now when I'm home the ojne night a week, she barely says hi to me. Now, my foster sister loves her mother and all, wants to be with her instead, but by certain bad circumstances, she cannot be with her, isn't really supposed to be visiting her. We went to her moms yesterday, the place reeked of weed. :( Now, I can't say it's ok for me to do it every once in a while, but not someone like her mother. But when you're hooked to where you can't do certaiun important things, like be a mother, then forget it. I don't want to get hooked. Anyway, back to today.
Well, that's all there is to oday. I'm not feeling like I did before I went to sleep though. Gotta write more entries.
So i go home, Catlin comes for me to watch her, I go to a church activity with Teri and Catlin, had fun, came back home, my mother, no, Ann, she came home from bingo and was playing canasta on the computer,... I can't stand her. My foster mom, ada said that she didn't understand why I have to come home each weekend when the took me out of the house for a reason, I don't know and I'm tired of it. I am qutting my job soon, and if I even go, I hate to say home, but it'll be to my dads, we're growing closer every day, I love that man! I fon't have many men to care about and or trust, and until recently, that wasn't my dad. I wonder, how parents really feel when their kids are taken from them, and esp. when they would rather stay at their foster homes then come home to them. I think that's only whn the parent really doesn't care. Like, my mom doesn't even bother to not gam,ble now when I'm home the ojne night a week, she barely says hi to me. Now, my foster sister loves her mother and all, wants to be with her instead, but by certain bad circumstances, she cannot be with her, isn't really supposed to be visiting her. We went to her moms yesterday, the place reeked of weed. :( Now, I can't say it's ok for me to do it every once in a while, but not someone like her mother. But when you're hooked to where you can't do certaiun important things, like be a mother, then forget it. I don't want to get hooked. Anyway, back to today.
Well, that's all there is to oday. I'm not feeling like I did before I went to sleep though. Gotta write more entries.