Wow. I hate to say this, but ina way, I haven't really understood the things going on, it hasn't really affected me in any way,..
Let me start from the beggining: I first noticed that anything was going on when I was headed to my third bell class, gym, and I noticed a group opf staff members, teachers, custodians, standing around a tv in the cafeteria, and then in gym, I had to give some paper to my teacher in his office, he was also watching the news, distracted.
The news was on in every classroom, yes, we have tvs, internet, and phones in each room, and in the cafeteria, well, I don't think they have the internet in there. It's weird watching tv while eating lunch at school, it's some new stuff.
So I go to my class after lunch, ROTC, and the commander and master sarg, well, ,master sarg said that he couldn't beklieve we all were still laughing and joking and stuff, like it was just another school day when a tragedy has happened, that's when it was first explained to me. Our commander used to work at the pentagon office.
I've heard more as the week went on, I was sad and confused, but mostly I just kind of heard the facts,.. Untill last night.
I stayed the night at my real mothers house for the first time since I moved in with the new parents, only because it was my now 11 year old cousins birthday. I had a meeting with the pshyciatrist, and my new foster mom, T, and I met alone with her first,a nd was honest, no, haven't cutt on myself, or taken laxes recently, since I saw herlast, and yes, have purged,..when she mentioned it to t without actually saying I have done stuff like that since moving in ewith her, T turned around and asked me, surprised if I think I still have an eating disordser, and I was scared, said no. Fel6t so damn quilty, and she askewd me about it agaij in the car, saying why is the doctor so adminant about you having a eating disorder non otherwise specified? That5's my newest diagnosis, not bulimia. My real mom invents things about me to tell the counsleors, to look good and like she cares, said I do binge then purge, and I DO NOT BINGE!!! So I don't have the qualifications to be a true bulimic. I do have an eating disorder though, not anorexia, or bulimia, or compulsive over eating.
So anyway, I fall asleep, uncomfortable laying next to my real mother in bed, instead of on the couch, and no pillow, no comfort for my migraine, and I fall asleep, drugged from my meds after 1, hours later then I have in about a month! I wake myself up from the surreal nightmare of being bombed, the whole us with nuclear bombs. I felt the saddness and loss, the what can I do now? I felt like it was true, I even thought I have to let dad know not to pick me up later,..
T called me last night to chheck on me, she was worried and nervous, she can't sleep like that. I loved that, and I love her. I hope I reassured her! I'd call her now, but her husband is coming back form Florida and I''m trying to give them a break. I'll see them at church tomorrow, along with myr real dad. I'm so scared
Let me start from the beggining: I first noticed that anything was going on when I was headed to my third bell class, gym, and I noticed a group opf staff members, teachers, custodians, standing around a tv in the cafeteria, and then in gym, I had to give some paper to my teacher in his office, he was also watching the news, distracted.
The news was on in every classroom, yes, we have tvs, internet, and phones in each room, and in the cafeteria, well, I don't think they have the internet in there. It's weird watching tv while eating lunch at school, it's some new stuff.
So I go to my class after lunch, ROTC, and the commander and master sarg, well, ,master sarg said that he couldn't beklieve we all were still laughing and joking and stuff, like it was just another school day when a tragedy has happened, that's when it was first explained to me. Our commander used to work at the pentagon office.
I've heard more as the week went on, I was sad and confused, but mostly I just kind of heard the facts,.. Untill last night.
I stayed the night at my real mothers house for the first time since I moved in with the new parents, only because it was my now 11 year old cousins birthday. I had a meeting with the pshyciatrist, and my new foster mom, T, and I met alone with her first,a nd was honest, no, haven't cutt on myself, or taken laxes recently, since I saw herlast, and yes, have purged,..when she mentioned it to t without actually saying I have done stuff like that since moving in ewith her, T turned around and asked me, surprised if I think I still have an eating disordser, and I was scared, said no. Fel6t so damn quilty, and she askewd me about it agaij in the car, saying why is the doctor so adminant about you having a eating disorder non otherwise specified? That5's my newest diagnosis, not bulimia. My real mom invents things about me to tell the counsleors, to look good and like she cares, said I do binge then purge, and I DO NOT BINGE!!! So I don't have the qualifications to be a true bulimic. I do have an eating disorder though, not anorexia, or bulimia, or compulsive over eating.
So anyway, I fall asleep, uncomfortable laying next to my real mother in bed, instead of on the couch, and no pillow, no comfort for my migraine, and I fall asleep, drugged from my meds after 1, hours later then I have in about a month! I wake myself up from the surreal nightmare of being bombed, the whole us with nuclear bombs. I felt the saddness and loss, the what can I do now? I felt like it was true, I even thought I have to let dad know not to pick me up later,..
T called me last night to chheck on me, she was worried and nervous, she can't sleep like that. I loved that, and I love her. I hope I reassured her! I'd call her now, but her husband is coming back form Florida and I''m trying to give them a break. I'll see them at church tomorrow, along with myr real dad. I'm so scared