YouSaidIShouldWriteABook
Blah blah blah

so tired I can't sleep
Tue Jul 18 2000

Hi!
Let's see, last night I didn't sleep at all so I was already up when it was time for my mom to take me to my first job at 8, then she picked me up again and that was at about 3:30 and she drove me to my second job which is my permanent one and I worked there till 9, I am so sleepy!!!! I didn't think I would make it in time.
Not too much happening here, the police haven't caught my, well, I don't know how to desribe him, we were more of aquintances, or friends, we didn't really go out ever! Rapist? yeah, that's what he is to me.
I want to try and go to a friends tomorrow, I hope I can, I ran into her the other day and felt bad as usual that I just couldn't go to her house. She wants to talk about Star, the code name we made up for the rapist before, I told her about it because she's my friend mi amigo and it was her quincy anos that I went to before I came home on Fathers day that night and he came and did his buisness, and he said Hasta Luego when he was leaving while I was throwing up from being upset and checking the blood that went down my legs. Hasta Luego means see you later, he has not seen me since. Thank you, God, I don't know what I would do if I did see him,...it's too scary to think about.
Well, on to some brighter things, I have a few days off from both jobs coming up, and one is ending soon, and I'll have some nice hard earned paychecks :) They will help for court.
I also see a counselor soon, on next monday for my eating disorder and the rape, she is going to laugh in my face I know, because I can hardly have it called an eating disorder, besides being relieved IT has a name at least, It's more of a friend and sometimes an enemy.
Then,... I get to do the same stuff again like the actual rape and the rape test, i get to see a gynacologist!!! Woweeee!!!!!!! That's on a Saturday, means I will ahve to wake up around 7 a.m. to spread my legs and keep them in stirrups. Boy, as mean as I hate to be, I know she's going to have a hard time with me! It's hard to do that when you'e, well, me! :(
My plans right now are to relax, find clothes for job tomorrow, and then take a nice bath/shower, then go to the lovely place called BED which for me is the couch, but hey! It'll do, it's really comfortable when I'm so tired especially!!! Night all!!! Sweet Dreams!!!!!
1 Comment
  • From:
    NobodysAngel (Legacy)
    On:
    Wed Jul 19 2000
    Hey-
    I wanted to find your diary so I could tell you that I did get your comment, and I did think about you. I couldn't find it at first that's why it took me so long to write back. You didn't leave an e-mail addy, at least I couldn't find it. I get what you mean by working all the time. My Mom's having mucho money problems and I have to get a job. All of us have to. I've got so much stress that I wind up crying myself to sleep at night. My friends, or the people who I call my friends have forgotten at me. But that's besides the point. I went to write in my diary tonight, but instead of using my favorites list on AOL to get in, I went to the main page. And there you were, on the list for just updated. I believe it's fate we've got each other. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm right. But if you lean on me, and I lean on you, we'll be OK.
    E-mail me: [email protected]
    Love,
    Lo