Wow, I have a lot of updating and no time whatsoever! At my new house, I'm serious, I hardly have time to sit down when I'm there. I'm used to it,
but I am still adjusting from going from one kind of lifestyle to a total different one kind of suddenly, and I'm so fortuante, I feel like I have it all, but that doesn't mean anything is perfect, I am going through a million changes and doing my best with the circumstances.
Today I had my drivers ed class, I have to take the whole stinking course over again, because the first time I took it, during June and July, well, I went to NY for a week and missed a bunch of days, and a couple of other days, also, and the good thing is I payed for it myself, so I'm responsible, the bad thing is I wasn't that responsible for going there and getting it over with, and now I'm just lucky the teacher isn't making me pay for it again, although it does feel like by getting up real early on saturdays, sitting through a 4 hour class, it's work. I know I need to learn all I can, and somme of it actually interestss me, miss medic GOING to be, woith the first aid and all the wrecks on the videos we watch, but still. So I'm almost through it for the second time.
I have to write on here, because Esp during this last week, I have had a rough kind of time at my foster parents, even worse time on my first official biological mother visit, and I can swear, if I wasn't in therapy right now, I'd have absolutly noone here I can talk to about anything. I can hardly get on the computer, to write to my good friends on here, and that's one thing I don't have, off computer really, friends. I'm not being self pitying, I don't even mind it a lot of times, but I do get lonely, and I'm 16 years old.
You know how most teens go out places with friends, at least maybe hang out together at a shared activity after school, like even at school? Well, I've been feeling isolated and lonely, and I also have no reason to, because I'm so busy during the week at my new house it's almost not even something I should consider important. My feelings get so hard to keep undder control, I sometimes think I'm feeling angry at someone, when I'm just feeling lonely, et cetera. So during this last week, I turned to something I have turned to for the last 5 years or so, but not as an eating disorder, it's a habit, a game, a control thingy. I wasn't doing it for weight issue, I was testing myself, seeing if I could handle and also seeing if I could get away with things, like when I skipped dinner, manipulating and stuff to see if they'd even suspect, see, they know about it, and foster, I'll just put F. Dad, he's in the law, an investigator, moms a security guard, that's how I met her, and they suspected something else all week, and they were so sure it was the right accusation, and I knew the truth, but as much as I didn't want them to know about it, the eating game, or lack of eating, I also realy didn't want them to keep thinking the other thing, which I'll get into.
but I am still adjusting from going from one kind of lifestyle to a total different one kind of suddenly, and I'm so fortuante, I feel like I have it all, but that doesn't mean anything is perfect, I am going through a million changes and doing my best with the circumstances.
Today I had my drivers ed class, I have to take the whole stinking course over again, because the first time I took it, during June and July, well, I went to NY for a week and missed a bunch of days, and a couple of other days, also, and the good thing is I payed for it myself, so I'm responsible, the bad thing is I wasn't that responsible for going there and getting it over with, and now I'm just lucky the teacher isn't making me pay for it again, although it does feel like by getting up real early on saturdays, sitting through a 4 hour class, it's work. I know I need to learn all I can, and somme of it actually interestss me, miss medic GOING to be, woith the first aid and all the wrecks on the videos we watch, but still. So I'm almost through it for the second time.
I have to write on here, because Esp during this last week, I have had a rough kind of time at my foster parents, even worse time on my first official biological mother visit, and I can swear, if I wasn't in therapy right now, I'd have absolutly noone here I can talk to about anything. I can hardly get on the computer, to write to my good friends on here, and that's one thing I don't have, off computer really, friends. I'm not being self pitying, I don't even mind it a lot of times, but I do get lonely, and I'm 16 years old.
You know how most teens go out places with friends, at least maybe hang out together at a shared activity after school, like even at school? Well, I've been feeling isolated and lonely, and I also have no reason to, because I'm so busy during the week at my new house it's almost not even something I should consider important. My feelings get so hard to keep undder control, I sometimes think I'm feeling angry at someone, when I'm just feeling lonely, et cetera. So during this last week, I turned to something I have turned to for the last 5 years or so, but not as an eating disorder, it's a habit, a game, a control thingy. I wasn't doing it for weight issue, I was testing myself, seeing if I could handle and also seeing if I could get away with things, like when I skipped dinner, manipulating and stuff to see if they'd even suspect, see, they know about it, and foster, I'll just put F. Dad, he's in the law, an investigator, moms a security guard, that's how I met her, and they suspected something else all week, and they were so sure it was the right accusation, and I knew the truth, but as much as I didn't want them to know about it, the eating game, or lack of eating, I also realy didn't want them to keep thinking the other thing, which I'll get into.