I did ned up emailing the counselor, and she told me it was ok to ask her my question, and so I did, and she responded! I wasn't able to read what she wrote until late due to a late birthday dinner my mom took my twin and I out on. I liked the dinner enough, but I did eat too much and was moaning and feeling so uncomfortable for a while before I gave in and purged.
She took it seriously, and told me what she knew about them, and also said she wasn't sure if it was something I could just get off of or if I needed to wean myself off. I read more about that in particular and it looks like I need to wean myself off, because suddenly stopping (which I don't think I can do right now anyway) could cause problems in itself. So, I am going to keep taking them, keep talking about it to people that can help, and try my best to get to where I am taking less and less, because I can't have this problem.
I want to do my normal thing ands stay awake and take advantage of the kids not being home, but I am pretty tired. I am debating going to the store real quick for some pop and cigarettes, but I think I am tired enough to just go lay down now, and pass out. I am hngry but don't feel like purging again, so I am going to try and control it, maybe just get super comfy and watch my touched by an angel episodes and just drift off. Night