Ok, My topic for today will be about bad feelings, mainly ones I feel. Depression, and the feeling of basically low self esteem, feeling unworthy, unwanted, unloved.
It's kind of dark writing, not something people want to really read about. And, all of a sudden I'm feeling kind of exhausted, so I'll start with how I was feeling last night.
Since I've been home from school for two days with strep (and I feel much better now, thank you except my throat still hurts a little) I've been bored. Finally, after I woke up around noon yesterday, I had our roommate drive me and my laundry to my Dad's, and I stayed here at Dad's till about midnight doing all of my clothes. No, I hardly ever can buy any clothes for myself, and child support, which is like all the money my mom has since she's lazy, it goes to gambling. We get a lot of clothes from people, my twin and I. Other then my clothes I've had for at least three years, I have some clothes from my older sister, someone I used to work with, someone from Teri's church and one of my neighbors. Anyways, most were still bagged up and I haven't gone through them yet and so I took everything I could to Dad's since it's free, unlike ours we share with the rest of the people in the apartment building, and we never have laundry quarters. So, anyway, I left to go back to mom's around midnight. I didn't go to sleep till after 4, more like 4:30. I had to look for stuff to take into my new job, like my birth certificate and a photo ID. I had to get my uniform together for ROTC, and I had to relax and then sleep in the living room because there was a roach by my closet, or a water bug. I read my new favorite book, The Best Little Girl in the World. I had to buy a new copy because I lost my old copy.
So, while I was laying there on the love seat, I started feeling really depressed. My weight depresses me, and other stuff does but I feel like I'm about to drop dead of exhaustion so i have to get off here now, and iupdate later. I woke up at 6, so I had about an hour and a half of sleep last night. I have a new job though! And today I don't feel that depressed!
It's kind of dark writing, not something people want to really read about. And, all of a sudden I'm feeling kind of exhausted, so I'll start with how I was feeling last night.
Since I've been home from school for two days with strep (and I feel much better now, thank you except my throat still hurts a little) I've been bored. Finally, after I woke up around noon yesterday, I had our roommate drive me and my laundry to my Dad's, and I stayed here at Dad's till about midnight doing all of my clothes. No, I hardly ever can buy any clothes for myself, and child support, which is like all the money my mom has since she's lazy, it goes to gambling. We get a lot of clothes from people, my twin and I. Other then my clothes I've had for at least three years, I have some clothes from my older sister, someone I used to work with, someone from Teri's church and one of my neighbors. Anyways, most were still bagged up and I haven't gone through them yet and so I took everything I could to Dad's since it's free, unlike ours we share with the rest of the people in the apartment building, and we never have laundry quarters. So, anyway, I left to go back to mom's around midnight. I didn't go to sleep till after 4, more like 4:30. I had to look for stuff to take into my new job, like my birth certificate and a photo ID. I had to get my uniform together for ROTC, and I had to relax and then sleep in the living room because there was a roach by my closet, or a water bug. I read my new favorite book, The Best Little Girl in the World. I had to buy a new copy because I lost my old copy.
So, while I was laying there on the love seat, I started feeling really depressed. My weight depresses me, and other stuff does but I feel like I'm about to drop dead of exhaustion so i have to get off here now, and iupdate later. I woke up at 6, so I had about an hour and a half of sleep last night. I have a new job though! And today I don't feel that depressed!