Some things that I don't want to mention happened at explorers and no, I will, i need to. One is I was um, well, getting sick at the post and someone had come into the bathroom, one of the firefighters and later said something when I said bye, whispered that if I don't get better that I might not be able to stay on the post.
On our way to another fire station for our meeting, I told the people I was riding with what made me hear of the explorers, the lady that conducted my fire classes since I was with the two guys when one chose to knock over a keroscene heater, caused a fire. I got off on a msodemeanor of vandalism, and the other two felonys of arson. The firefighetr was the one who told me I should join expplorers, since I was so interested. She should have told me what the fdrivcer said, if I had anything on the record that I couldn't be in it. I begged them to not say anything. I have been depressed since yestreday and this stuff helped cause it. That's my favorite thing to do, and that represents the life I want to have when grown up, so if I get kicked off, I knpow how it'll be like, I don;'t think I'll kill myself over it, or even try to, but i know that I will be sad, grieving like. Every wednesday night, I will cry, and I will not talk about it, to mom or anyone. Maybe not in here either.
I don't know what to do. I can't get kicked off. I will find out soon, though. Steve hwelped me last meeting, he said some true things, he told mom that I get lonely, or feel alone in a lot of things, and that makes me even more depreessed. Oh, my best friend who took all of my cds, she went to jail,or 20/20, for thirty days. I don't have that many peple left, but I'm extremely lucky to have who I have. Dad was so distant last sunday, my fave. teacher is practically out of touch, the only people I can bother with my problems that help me through everything are those on email, and here. I can talk about anything here. Like, how my misdeamor and my eating disorder can each cause me to get kicked off the explorers post. I do have my counselors, and Ms. B, Mrs. H, P, a few people at school and on the c0mpiuter in other wpors. Too bad I can't ise the computer that much. I have a cold and am tired now, so goodnight I love ya! Mary
On our way to another fire station for our meeting, I told the people I was riding with what made me hear of the explorers, the lady that conducted my fire classes since I was with the two guys when one chose to knock over a keroscene heater, caused a fire. I got off on a msodemeanor of vandalism, and the other two felonys of arson. The firefighetr was the one who told me I should join expplorers, since I was so interested. She should have told me what the fdrivcer said, if I had anything on the record that I couldn't be in it. I begged them to not say anything. I have been depressed since yestreday and this stuff helped cause it. That's my favorite thing to do, and that represents the life I want to have when grown up, so if I get kicked off, I knpow how it'll be like, I don;'t think I'll kill myself over it, or even try to, but i know that I will be sad, grieving like. Every wednesday night, I will cry, and I will not talk about it, to mom or anyone. Maybe not in here either.
I don't know what to do. I can't get kicked off. I will find out soon, though. Steve hwelped me last meeting, he said some true things, he told mom that I get lonely, or feel alone in a lot of things, and that makes me even more depreessed. Oh, my best friend who took all of my cds, she went to jail,or 20/20, for thirty days. I don't have that many peple left, but I'm extremely lucky to have who I have. Dad was so distant last sunday, my fave. teacher is practically out of touch, the only people I can bother with my problems that help me through everything are those on email, and here. I can talk about anything here. Like, how my misdeamor and my eating disorder can each cause me to get kicked off the explorers post. I do have my counselors, and Ms. B, Mrs. H, P, a few people at school and on the c0mpiuter in other wpors. Too bad I can't ise the computer that much. I have a cold and am tired now, so goodnight I love ya! Mary