As we join our heroine, we find Griffen sitting on the rim of the bath, drinking cat tea. What is cat tea? Why hot bath water to be sure. As he laps away, Dr. Rubber Duckie eyes him warily.
Dr. RD: Is the presence of this unfamiliar feline absolutely necessary Leibchen?
Me: Well no, not absolutely Dr. You don't have anything to worry about though, Griffen has a pretty severe case of Shrinkophobia and will not come near you. He DOES however have a powerful thirst for cat tea. When he gets full, I think he will find something else to occupy himself with.
Dr. RD: Very well. But I hold you responsible for any mishaps. And to tell you the truth, I don't think my nerves can take much more right now.
Me: Yes, your receptionist told me you had just returned from Vienna.
Dr. RD: It's true. I needed to see Dr. Mallard in an emergency session.
Me: What happened? If you don't mind talking about it that is….(this spoken as Griffen begins to clean the drops of cat tea off his whiskers, completely oblivious to the fact that his tail has dipped into the water.)
Dr. RD: I don't know if you were aware of it at the time, but I had a very traumatic experience the other day when the granddaughters were visiting.
Me: Really? What happened?
Dr. RD: Well, someone was most derelict in their duties and left them to their own devices. They were roving about, collecting objects from all over the house. When they made it in here, they were carrying two baskets. One was full of artificial apples and some kind of odd looking gourds that had been decorated, I can only assume by you, to look like pears. The other basket was loaded with clothing and a small stuffed bear with a blue sweater on. They surveyed the bathroom, and passed up the shampoo and soap and headed straight for me.
Me: Oh dear.
Dr. RD: Exactly. I found myself being poked in the eyes and squeezed, but as everybody knows, I am not the kind of therapist that squeaks. Once they found this out, I was dumped unceremoniously among the artificial apples and pears like so much produce. What follows is a blur. My terror at being kidnapped outright, and taken to parts unknown, grew to epic proportions. I drifted in and out of consciousness after the second time they bent over and spilled the entire contents of the baskets onto the floor.
Then suddenly that cat appeared and they dropped the baskets and headed for the unfortunate creature at full speed. I rolled behind the bedroom door, wedged between an apple and a pear. I don't remember anything after that.
Me: My goodness Dr. I had no idea this was going on right under my own roof!
Dr. RD: Well, as you can imagine, I needed to see Dr. Mallard right away after such a harrowing experience. I left on the first tail wind headed east.
Me: What was his diagnosis?
Dr. RD: He said I had Post Three Year Old Playtime Traumatic Syndrome, and prescribed a sedative. My case was particularly problematic because the three year olds were twins. He said in those cases the symptoms are intensified by the psychic bond between such siblings. I'm just lucky that they were girls. Dr. Mallard has patients who have never recovered from being played with by twin boys.
Me: Becoming aware that the bath water has grown noticeably cooler. . .
I was hoping to have a talk about some issues having to do with some rather nasty self-loathing that has surfaced in my journal Doctor, and my anxiety levels are up, I'm concerned that. . .
Dr. RD: I'm so sorry Leibchen, our time seems to be up.
Me: Frowning. Griffen stretches and takes a few more sips of cat tea, but gives it up as the stuff has grown tepid. He makes a face. He prefers it hot.
He eyes Dr. Rubber Duckie warily.
Dr. RD: Let's take it up at our next session shall we?
Me: Scowling at the pair of them. . . Yeah, whatever.
Dr. RD: I don't think I like your tone there missy.
Me: Sigh. Pardon me Dr. I cannot imagine what got into me. . . I'll see you next time.
Dr. RD: Good, good. And be sure you take that animal with you when you leave.
Me: Yes Doctor. . . jerking the plug rather violently.
Notice: If I suddenly disappear from cyberspace, it is because I am off on the trail of a new cooling fan. Mine is grinding and wheezing and gasping on and off, so I may be down for repairs sometime soon.... Wanted you to know, just in case mind you. :-)