D'vorahDavida
Yetzirah

Biblical Proportions
Fri Apr 22 2011

Last night I sat with my notebook in my lap and wrote a long winded essay about the evolution of computers in our everyday lives.

I decided it was entirely too preachy and whiney, whiny, whinee,... filled with whine. So instead I am doing what I always seem to do these days and that is to write off the cuff.

(And those cuffs are getting QUITE frayed and could use a referbishing, let me tell you!)

I cannot disagree.

I'll just stick to the salient, saliant points.

(What's WRONG with you?)

No spell checker, so I'm putting down all the variant, varient spellings when I'm in doubt.

(Oh My God. This is going to be a bad day....)

As I was SAYING... before the computer disaster even occured, I had been dealing with a disturbing thing in my little corner of tubeland. My web browser of choice for the last few years has been Flock. Flock was everything I wanted in a browser. I won't bore you with the minutia, but suffice it to say, I loved it like peanut butter. It did everything I wanted it to and more.
And then one day I got an email from the administrators telling me that they were no longer going to support Flock with updates or security and that its functions would eventually degrade and stop working altogether.

What the ???????????

I don't want to make false accusations or anything but I just wonder who greased who's palm on this one???

(That sounds like a false accusation to me right there....)

Oh?

You have an over active imagination.

Anyway, I had spent several days after the demise of Flock reconfiguring Internet Explorer to collect all my RSS feeds which I had to reconstruct from scratch and to try to reconcile to the irritation of using it at all. I really loathe IE. Sorry.

So I was already in a bad mood is what I'm saying. And when I looked back at all the stuff I (we) have gone through with these whirring boxes, well, I got a little testy.

Though there are really great things about them, and I will get to that later. Right now I feel like most of the time computers behave like a really crappy boyfriend.

A boyfriend that takes all your money, forgets your birthday, changes personalities, when he sees you first thing in the morning pretends he doesn't know you every single day, changes the locks on the front door, breaks your favorite china, makes up new relationship rules willy nilly, burns down your house, loses your birth certificate...oh wait, that's another discussion... sucks up all your time like a black hole, throws learning curves at you that are so steep they make you fall over backwards into the stack of manuals that you never read, drops your precious photo albums into the dumpster in back of Safeway, turns termites loose into your home filing cabinet and finally checks himself into rehab without notice and takes all your mp3s with him where they are used for arts and crafts projects in group therapy sessions.

And what do we do???

!!!!

We PAY for his rehab.

EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. !!!

The one thing I have learned about computers is that nothing lasts. There is no permanence, permanance and that no data is truly safe, they are going to change dramatically at any moment, and the things you love and get attached to are going to be taken away from you. And I have a drawer full of hard drives from dead computers to prove it.

This is not good for human beings.

Human beings like to feel safe and secure.

But computers don't know anything about our feelings.

I have been jilted by Flock, betrayed by Acer, left at the alter by Pandora's Box which won't work in Windows 7, and abandoned by my first IP provider who started his business in his basement in Mount Shasta.

Abandonment issues?

I have 'em!!!

I'm sitting at the gates, [no not Gates] like Job, [no, not Jobs] the biblical Job, scraping my boils with a bit of plastic from my latest broken motherboard resisting the advice from the gloom and doom gallery to curse God and die.

(This is getting a little too melodramatic don't you think?)

Sniff.

That's easy for you to say. It's not YOUR Discover card that as of today has the enormous unpaid balance....

And the thing that really worries me now, is even with all my abandoment isues and strings of bitter failures, disappointmens and betrayals, I have a date to embark on a 'round the world cruise with some guy I found on the internet. His name is Mac and I have never actually met him in person.

He's supposed to arrive by UPS on Tuesday.

I hope he'll be gentle with me.

***

(Ah, I don't mean to be crass, I can see you are distressed. But you said that there were some really great things about computers and that you were going to get to that. I just thought you should finish out your thoughts for continuity's sake.)

Okay.

Sniff.

Dancing Star said it just the other day...and right now it's the only light I see at the end of this tunnel...

"I love my computer. So many of my friends live there."

13 Comments
  • From:
    404Error (Legacy)
    On:
    Fri Apr 22 2011
    Congratulations! I think you will love Mac and I suspect he will love you back and be very gentle with you and your "stuff." Plus, he just feels so darned good.

    As for the browser issue, if it turns out that you don't like the one that Mac comes with, I can't recommend Firefox highly enough. I never have any problems with it, and you can even get a spellcheck extension for it so that you get an automatic spell checker for comments and such all over the web. I even have the French version so I can spell check French cooking terms when I use them.
  • From:
    Salamander (Legacy)
    On:
    Fri Apr 22 2011
    I've a suspicion that your problem is that you've anthropomorphized your computer.
  • From:
    Yetzirah (Legacy)
    On:
    Fri Apr 22 2011
    Salamandar...

    Ya think?

    ;-)
  • From:
    InStitches (Legacy)
    On:
    Fri Apr 22 2011
    Deep breath....... it'll be ok. MAC is not only good looking, he's a dream on the world wide web dance floor. Prepare to fall in love.

    By the way, is the Pandora's Box you mentioned by chance Pandora Radio? If so, be of good cheer.....it works on Safari. :)
  • From:
    Mamallama (Legacy)
    On:
    Fri Apr 22 2011
    Ummmmm....
    Does Hub Man read this blog?
    If he does, you might want to warn him.
    Just sayin'.......
  • From:
    Welshamethyst (Legacy)
    On:
    Fri Apr 22 2011
    I nearly peed my pants at the analogy of a bad boyfriend. You hit the nail on the head!
  • From:
    Jerrek (Legacy)
    On:
    Sat Apr 23 2011
    You will love Mac.

    He takes a bit of getting used to, but once you get used to him, you'll never go back!

    I work exclusively on Mac now (and if I could find a decent priced Mac Server Host then I'd move DD to Mac too - it uses Linux at the moment which is close enough ;))

    My only Windows PC in the house runs my TV recorder, and that's only until I can afford a Mac Mini to do it on (which won't be for a while!)

    Mac is great, you'll love it. Give me a yell if you need any help getting used to it though!
  • From:
    Jerrek (Legacy)
    On:
    Sat Apr 23 2011
    Ah, Bloggar (as in w.bloggar?) won't work on Mac as it comes out of the box, as far as I know. You could contact Marcelo and ask him.

    Alternatively, there's a couple of additional possibilities;

    1) If you have other Windows stuff you HAVE to use and there's no Mac alternative (Quickbooks is one for me) then you can install Parallels Desktop which lets you install a Windows machine within your Mac. Visit www.reviewmacsoftware.com for a bit of an insight into Parallels - and if you buy it, perhaps you'd be kind enough to buy it through reviewmacsoftware.com as I'm a Parallels affiliate :-))

    2) You could look around for Mac alternatives. If you find one (I've not looked) please let me know and I'll download it and play around with it too, and then do a review :-)
  • From:
    Jerrek (Legacy)
    On:
    Sat Apr 23 2011
    Oh how I wish DD had threaded comments and reply comment notification - lol
  • From:
    DancingStar (Legacy)
    On:
    Sat Apr 23 2011
    Just remember, MacGuyver went by 'Mac' back in the day too! So while Im not a fan of the fruit based products which must remain nameless in this house (seriously, its up there with that soda that is not Coke and certain car makes) one feels you may just be up for a toe curlingly good adventure with this new guy :P
  • From:
    JustPeachy (Legacy)
    On:
    Sat Apr 23 2011
    I know how you feel. I'm stressing because Yahoo wants to upgrade my email account. I just got used to the last upgrade.

    Great entry! :)
  • From:
    Salamander (Legacy)
    On:
    Sat Apr 23 2011
    Ditto Jerrek's wishes about threaded replies. Maybe we should suggest to Steve...?
  • From:
    BattleAxe (Unauthenticated) (Legacy)
    On:
    Sun Apr 24 2011
    Besides nearly peeing my pants, my head is swimming with all the computer verbage bantered about. My little Windows upgrade pales in comparison. I nearly had a panic attach when I saw the new layout. Good thing "home" looks like a house - took me a bit longer to figure out the "favorites" and "print" icons. I'm sure I would go into cardiac arrest if faced with your situation. Sadly I am not able to offer any help or suggestions. You are a strong, brave woman!