I took some time a few days ago to organize and clean up my photo files on my computer, and I ran across something that I realized you all don't know about, because it happened during 'the dark years' of Yetzirah let's call them.
(That seems rather overly dramatic, don't you think?)
One makes one's drama where one can find it.
So, let me back up.
In December of 2022 I began looking for a dog. I just decided I'd had enough of being alone here in the house. I looked on Petfinder for weeks, and never saw a dog that looked like it would suit me. Until one day... there she was. At the county pound of all places. I saw her on a Friday, late in the day, when the pound was already closed, so I had to spend an anxious weekend until I could inquire about her.
First thing on Monday I called, drove over, and brought her home.
She had been caught by someone, after being seen running wild for about three months. She was SO thin!
I spent a lot of time and energy worrying that she would run off, so there was a great deal of fence reinforcing and her being penned up in the chicken run [sans chickens now]. Mr. P spent a goodly amount of time and effort adding fencing in a large area around the place so she could run free.
She was a sweet dog, who LOVED people and behaved very well in the house. But outside... wow... could she RUN! Lucky for us, and her, she had two large fields to run in every day.
Abby.
I'm sorry to tell you a sad tale about her though.
One day in December of this year, I took her out to the field for a run. I always would check for deer before I turned her loose. I scanned the area and didn't see any.... I thought. What I didn't notice was a deer that was caught in the corner of the fence, its body vertical, partially hidden by a wooden post. Abby however DID see the deer and shot over there and began attacking it.
The deer was screaming [yes they scream], she was screaming, I was screaming. It was horrific.
I managed to pull her off the deer, but not before she had torn off a large slab of hide from its inner thigh.
It was very difficult to keep hold of her and drag her away. She twisted around and I ended up falling down on top of her... I knew if I let her go, I would have to do it all over again. There was blood all over her and eventually me too, wrestling with her.
I knew as I drug her out of the field that our time together was over. I cannot keep a dog that savages deer. I could keep her IN the fences, but could never keep the deer OUT. And because she had to kill animals to stay alive, that instinct would never go away. It's a wonder that we made it a whole year before something like this happened.
The deer finally dislodged itself from the fence and leapt over it, but I knew it was mortally wounded. I found its body on the other side of the ice pond a few days later.
The pound could not take her back until after Christmas, so we spent a week together saying goodbye. That was very painful for me. And her. I never let her out of the small backyard pen again.
I know this is a gruesome story, but I'm just recording another of the painful losses I have had of late. My mother passing away, losing Abby, and now my brother and sister-in-law moving away.
It's been a rough year. In fact, so rough, [I'm not going to lie], I'm going to a therapist, which turns out to have been a brilliant move on my part. It's been very helpful.
Having Dear Diary back up and running has been such a gift, because it's a place to write about these things and record everything to remember, in years to come, where I was holding at this time. And what I did about it.
So once again, I have no dog in my life. Though I do have friends with dogs that I get to visit and interact with. I really should not have a dog, living alone. I can't always take them with me. Abby LOVED to go in the car and was a very good girl while she was riding or waiting for me. I miss her something fierce.
(Okay... so... um... that WAS pretty dramatic.)
I know.
