It is strange how we can see the same things from different perspective, often almost opposite to the previous view. Learning lessons could be painful, but we all benefit from them in the end…when it is the end, that is…
I’m not giving second thought to my actions when my actions feel right. It doesn’t bother me that I might look humiliated, disgraced or a plain fool if I did what I think I ought to do. You can’t go around pleasing everyone; it is much more rewarding to feel comfortable within yourself. To be satisfied that what you do is in harmony with your inner conscious, your morality and your perception of honour.
One can say: it’s a defeat, giving up, surrender…and I can object that we are not defeating, we are avoiding the rough edges where they can be avoided.
One can say: you are abasing yourself…and I can say: only self-respect matters. It is enough to be proud of yourself in own eyes. Opinions of others are not what make you the way you are.
One can laugh at me reaching out after being hurt, offering self-disadvantaging terms for the piece of peace…and here I am, daring to say: I feel myself a better person for these; therefore even in disadvantage I gain myself a big favour.
I had to choose what is more important to me personally: to stand up for myself or to understand the reason WHY I feel a need to do this. And when I made my choice, I could see clearly that standing up was, in fact, playing another’s game. And somehow being a pawn doesn’t feel right…
So yes, I reach out, I offer peace, I say sorry, I "humiliate" myself by “giving up to it” and I’ll do it again and again if needed, because I do this not to negotiate myself a deal or make a profit out of it, but to feel the power of integrity, the contentment of being true to myself.
Do I worry about the outcome of my actions? I would lie if say no. But do I regret? - not a single moment! If it feels right, it must be right...Trusting my intuition...
I’m not giving second thought to my actions when my actions feel right. It doesn’t bother me that I might look humiliated, disgraced or a plain fool if I did what I think I ought to do. You can’t go around pleasing everyone; it is much more rewarding to feel comfortable within yourself. To be satisfied that what you do is in harmony with your inner conscious, your morality and your perception of honour.
One can say: it’s a defeat, giving up, surrender…and I can object that we are not defeating, we are avoiding the rough edges where they can be avoided.
One can say: you are abasing yourself…and I can say: only self-respect matters. It is enough to be proud of yourself in own eyes. Opinions of others are not what make you the way you are.
One can laugh at me reaching out after being hurt, offering self-disadvantaging terms for the piece of peace…and here I am, daring to say: I feel myself a better person for these; therefore even in disadvantage I gain myself a big favour.
I had to choose what is more important to me personally: to stand up for myself or to understand the reason WHY I feel a need to do this. And when I made my choice, I could see clearly that standing up was, in fact, playing another’s game. And somehow being a pawn doesn’t feel right…
So yes, I reach out, I offer peace, I say sorry, I "humiliate" myself by “giving up to it” and I’ll do it again and again if needed, because I do this not to negotiate myself a deal or make a profit out of it, but to feel the power of integrity, the contentment of being true to myself.
Do I worry about the outcome of my actions? I would lie if say no. But do I regret? - not a single moment! If it feels right, it must be right...Trusting my intuition...