I was trying to write on here last night but the kids were stressing me out so badly I couldn't. We did not have a good night.
Yesterday while they were still at my in laws I did end up going to church in the morning and helping clean. I had energy so I wanted to use it for something good. After that Phylis Regina and I went to eat at this mexican restauraunt for lunch. We had a good time and I told them about my trip again and she said something about whether or not a bunch of people with ED's will be there hogging the bathrooms puking and stuff. I don't like hearing stuff like this because I have an ED but I believe people are entilted to their opinions, and I have sort of wondered the same thing. We have a dinner to go to that first night, and then there is going to be a breakfast the next morning so I am a little curious about how hard it might be for people to handle there, but I figure that in general most of the people there are for supporting this bill to have with recovery, so my hope is that everyone there that has paid for these meals and signed up will be able to eat them, and not purge. This makes me think of the camping trip I went on for three days with my NA group. It wasn't restricted, I even left and went home to get more blankets at one point and easily could have done or gotten any kind of drugs if I wanted, but noone really makes people go to NA, at least my group is mostly people who want to be there, and so going camping then was having fun with friends without the use of drugs. Most might have had their sponsors there, too, and most get drug tested so yeah, it's not worth it when we were having fun away from the lifestyles we are usually in. So, I relax in a campsite with other people not doing drugs, and I eat with other people who have eating disorders.
I spent the day at her house, just talking and playing with the pets and havig fun. We ate dinner while there, and I had a snack and dessert, too! I loved it!I know it was amazing how much I ate, but I enjoyed the company and I never have banana pudding. She showed me how to make the pudding, and the chilli the way she makes it, and I am just realy looking forward to trying to make some new things around here after I go shopping soon. I try and want to make meals and snacks normal for my girls, but it is hard when itt's not normal for me sometimes.
Lori stopped by, too, and I left when she did. I really thought that we would make it to church but I wasn't expecting the girls to end up being so wild and hyper for so long last night! i was exhausted, too, and couldn't put up with it like normally. I didn't sleep at all Friday night, so last night, Saturday was the first time I slept since Thursday night. They had torn their curtain from their window and now I think I have to go buy a new frame and all to fix it. They started sleeping with me and ended up sleeping on the couch after watching netflix and eating raisins. They had a sleepover planned at grammy and papaws and we were talking about having something like that here tonight, but now I think I need to forget about it, they are in trouble, and we need to get organized again. I am so frustrated with how things are right now. All we can do is keep moving forward!