stupid, stupid, stupid. That's all I can think of myself as. I rememeber I used to think I was a little smart. I think that may have been way back, like before I was in school.
I did what was wrong the other night. I know that now, because last night he told me that the girl he went to play pool with asked him out. Then he said he said yes. I said ok, went to sleep with my angel Catlin that I babysat on the family room floor. Things are so different now, and I feel pained, like really bad emotional pain, and when he brings it up he only asks if I told anyone, because he's older and stuff. He's paranoid.
I think that was the best time I had though, and so I hate it that we can't talk. Other then this diary I wouldn't talk to anyone about it anyway, but he doesn't even want to talk about it in private, in case anyone get's around.
I hate living here, I'd rather get out and himstay, though. We can't talk! I was starting to really feel for him, and it didn't last afetr we had sex, even afterwards when I layed on him just on the couch before sleeping, he asked me to get off. I bet I was hurting him, I'm such a cow. I'm a depressed cow who is about to go out for this dinnr with family for a late b day thing, we go every year and Grandma takes us, gets drunck and we try to be happy, pretending that is what life with this family is. Stupid fat cow :(
I did what was wrong the other night. I know that now, because last night he told me that the girl he went to play pool with asked him out. Then he said he said yes. I said ok, went to sleep with my angel Catlin that I babysat on the family room floor. Things are so different now, and I feel pained, like really bad emotional pain, and when he brings it up he only asks if I told anyone, because he's older and stuff. He's paranoid.
I think that was the best time I had though, and so I hate it that we can't talk. Other then this diary I wouldn't talk to anyone about it anyway, but he doesn't even want to talk about it in private, in case anyone get's around.
I hate living here, I'd rather get out and himstay, though. We can't talk! I was starting to really feel for him, and it didn't last afetr we had sex, even afterwards when I layed on him just on the couch before sleeping, he asked me to get off. I bet I was hurting him, I'm such a cow. I'm a depressed cow who is about to go out for this dinnr with family for a late b day thing, we go every year and Grandma takes us, gets drunck and we try to be happy, pretending that is what life with this family is. Stupid fat cow :(