Lying in the dark Turning on a light Trying to sleep With all my might
Yawning and stretching Yet feeling wide awake Shutting down my brain Is all it would take
"Put a poem in your pocket And a picture in your head And you'll never feel lonely At night when you're in bed"
Just try not to think My memaw always said Lay still and let me hold you While you lay with me in bed
Her arms across my body Her hand enclosed in mine She lays there asleep I lay there a 'tryin'
This is a poem based off how I used to sleep when I spent the night at my Memaw's and she held me and I felt comfortable and safe.
Now I just don't sleep very much. My new and absoultely wonderful boyfriends mom has even been telling me I need to start sleeping, because I've been staying the night at their house every once in a while. They don't mind, even when they wake up in the morning to see me and Jason curled up together on the couch, but I think that tonight his mom was starting to worry about his getting to sleep, too, because he was napping and she made a comment about how he should sleep in his bed tonoght, and I didn't think she meant for both of us to, so I took the hint and came home for the night. Plus, Jason told me that today she called him and said that she was bothered about something for the last couple of weeks, and she said she didn't know what we were doing, but she wanted to make sure I was on birth control, and when he said no, she asked if he used condoms and he said yes because we are both adults and he would never lie, if you ask him a question directly he'll be honest, and indirectly he will be as vague as possible. So, I was preparing myself for a talk that's really annoying actually and we went to his house, I pretended I didn't know she knew we were having sex and she never said anything. I think she was really hping for some time to talk to him face to face without me there, but I can't help but feel anxious, I mean, she is great and she's even my boss for one of my few jobs, and yet I feel overwhemed tonight, and I don't know what they are saying and thinking and wqondering and I feel left out and shit and I'm confused and really tired lately and also Jason and I have this type of relationship that I'm just curious when and how he'll propose because we've been sort of discussing marriage, and getting an apartment together and everyopne we meet and know together is asking us when the wedding is, and we hardly can stand to be away from each other, I mean, he's coming to get me in the morning so that we can both get to our job we share together and yet I'm going crazy and oh we love each other all right, but I have been so tired lately and depressed at times, and just overly worried about stupid things and I have recently started my period after like 3 years, and I guess my hormones are going berserk, and I'm turning 19 in a couple of weeks yet I can't stand the idea of spending any money to celebrate and then after this calendar year I won't have insurance through my dad anymore unless I go to college and I'm just too busy and tired to do any more schooling and I don't have the money and I'm sick of thinking period.